This Post Brought to You by the Letter R for Random

I know this will sadden all of my readers greatly, but today’s post will be the last of the reader questions. I’ve taken long enough to answer these, right? Most of the ones I’m answering today are ones that I can answer quickly, so I thought I’d try and cover a bunch of them. Consider it an online survey made by you and answered by me!

From Mary, an excellent weight loss/health blogger:
What is your favorite hobby (um, besides blogging)?
This is rather sad, but I don’t know! I used to be an avid reader but now struggle with finding time to read, so the most I read is during my lunch break at work. I also used to play the guitar, and I am thinking about trying to learn how to play again.

If you could go anywhere in the world, right now, where would you go? Italy, all of it, but especially Florence and Venice. I have wanted to go to Italy for years and years. Someday I will get there. (Right, Stephen?) :)


From Renee, a lovely poet whose first chapbook is coming out soon:
Where do you see yourself in ten years? It is hard to imagine myself in 10 years, but I will be 38 (eek!), and I hope to have one or two children by then if the Lord wills. I hope to be at home with them, happily managing our household. I want to be as madly in love with Stephen as I am right now (or more so), I want to be pursuing the Lord wholeheartedly, and I want to be in service to the church in whatever ways I can.

What are some things you've improved on in the past five years, and what are some things you're still working on? I think I’ve become less of a perfectionist, which is a HUGE victory. I also have become more flexible, more confident, and less affected by unkind words. On the flip side, I am still far too concerned with what other people think, and I am still a very fearful and anxious person most of the time, and I know each of these things hinders my walk with Christ.


From Heather, another lovely writer:

What is your ultimate dream job? To have children and stay at home with them. If we’re talking outside the realm of probability, I’d love to work with dolphins. Or be a famous singer or writer.

How do you keep your spiritual life fresh? What devotionals/books would you recommend, specifically for women, if any? That’s a good question. I find that it helps me to have a reading plan of sorts, to give focus to my devotional time. For example, I just finished reading what I call the General Electric Power Company (aka, Galatians, Ephesians, Philippians, and Colossians). I now have moved on to the minor prophets. I also like plans that take you through the Bible in one year. I haven’t actually read any devotionals directed toward women, but I love My Utmost for His Highest by Oswald Chambers. I also love this really wonderful little book called Stepping Heavenward by Elizabeth Prentiss. It’s comprised of journal entries that are a glimpse into the heart of a woman trying to follow God. I highly recommend it.


From Sarah E.:
Tell a funny/embarrassing story. When I was in middle school, I decided to run for student council vice president. To this day I really don’t know why I thought I had any chance of winning, but I was very gung-ho about it. Each candidate had to give speeches to each grade at different assemblies, and when it came time for me to give my speech to my grade, I completely froze, forgot I had notecards in front of me with ALL THE WORDS ON THEM, and rambled for a bit before bursting into tears and sitting down. Needless to say, I didn’t win the election. :)


From Lauren, a true bibliophile:
How do you cope with the munchies? I munch. Just kidding! (Well, most of the time.) I try to keep myself busy. I will chew gum or drink water, and if I am at home, I avoid the kitchen when at all possible. At work it’s not as hard because there’s no vending machine (praise the Lord), and I just bring one snack to work with me every day. If it’s at night and past my self-imposed curfew of 8 p.m., I try to ONLY eat if I am really hungry, and then I limit my selection to fruit. Brushing my teeth also helps a lot.

How has your journey towards being healthy effected your marriage? your relationship with friends? family? This is a really good question. I think my marriage has been improved in that I have been able to see just how supportive and awesome Stephen is. He has been my biggest cheerleader and source of strength during the whole process, and without him I don’t even know if I would have begun trying to lose weight. I was fine just talking about it until he asked, "How will you change it?" I don’t feel that my relationships with friends or family have been affected to much, besides the fact that they too have been so supportive and encouraging.


From Macy, who shares my love of all things purple:
Do you ever do creative writing? short stores? poems? It seems like you would be the kind of person who would, and if you do, sharing it here with us would be lovely! :)
I started writing when I was in the fourth grade and have always enjoyed it. (Back then, my favorite poem that I wrote began with, "Colors, colors everywhere, / A little here, a little there." Even then my genius was evident.) Although the only writing I have done in the past few years has been on this blog, I have always enjoyed writing and admired other people’s writing endeavors. In college I primarily wrote poetry, though I also dabbled in creative nonfiction and short fiction. I have stopped and started a novel at least 5 times. Maybe next year I will participate in NaNoWriMo and actually finish a novel. If you go through the blog archives, you can find some of the poems I posted on here. They’re mediocre at best.

So that’s it! I hope you feel as though you know me a little better. Thanks to all of you who asked questions and thanks to all of you who read my blog. I really appreciate it!

The Hardest Part

I have thoroughly enjoyed everyone's feedback on these questions, and it's been really helpful for me. Thank you!

Here's the third and final question from Jen: "What is the 2 or 3 hardest things about losing weight?"

My answer to this question has been different depending on where I am in my weight loss journey. When I first began, the hardest things were counting calories and exercising. Now those things are fairly routine for me. Then I struggled with comparing my rate of weight loss with that of others and feeling inferior as a result (and I still struggle with this to a degree, though I think I've improved). One thing I have struggled with the whole time is my desire for food and the emotional attachment I have with certain foods. I am constantly having to remind myself that food is not a solution to problems but is fuel for my body.

The hardest thing for me right now is fighting feelings of rebellion. Sometimes I just want to say, "Who cares about being healthy? Is it really worth all of this struggle? Why can’t I just eat what I want?" Of course, if what I wanted to eat were healthy, that would be fine, but the truth that I am still trying to absorb is that there is no finish line when it comes to being healthy; healthiness is a lifelong pursuit. I need to get used to it now and ingrain these healthy habits into my heart and mind so I can pass them on to my children someday.

If you have lost weight or are trying to lose weight, what has been the hardest thing for you?

Just Out of Reach

Yesterday I answered Jen's questions about emotions and weight loss, and I enjoyed your responses to that post. After reading them, I wonder if struggling with body image is primarily a female issue. Are there any males out there willing to weigh in (no pun intended) on the question?

Today here is my response to Jen's second question: "Are you at your goal weight? What was your goal when you first started versus where you are now?

The answer is no, I am not at my goal weight. When I first started this process on January 21, 2008, I weighed 261 pounds and hoped to lose 100 pounds in a year. For some people that goal is very doable, but it ended up not being realistic for me. I managed to lose 50 pounds in the first year and then felt certain I would reach my goal in 2009. That too did not happen, and I find myself nearing the end of the year having lost under 30 pounds. Unless something approaching the miraculous happens before January 21, 2010, I will reach the two-year anniversary of my weight loss without reaching my goal of losing 100 pounds. I have a hard time with this because I have read so many weight loss stories where people took less time to lose the weight that I have and in fact lost even MORE than I have in less time. This is very disappointing to me, but I know the fault lies with no one but myself.

I have struggled with whether or not I still want to get to 161 pounds, but if I am honest with myself, I think that’s because I am tired of trying to lose weight and deep down don’t even believe I can get to my goal. I have been stuck in the 180s for the latter half of the year, and I am still trying to figure out what exactly isn’t clicking. I am thankful I haven't gained back all the weight I've lost, and I am slowly but surely moving in the right direction, but I feel like that final goal is always just out of reach. I'm open to any advice or wisdom anyone would like to share!

Mirror, Mirror

Jen, whose blog I love and read every day, asked me some great questions about my weight loss. Initially I was going to just answer one, but they are all kind of connected and are important, so I am going to answer all three of them in separate posts (since my attempt to write concise answers to each one failed miserably).

Today’s question:

"How have you dealt with the emotional effects of losing weight? Do you see yourself at the weight you really are?"

Emotions (and my inability to handle them properly) played a huge role in why I became fat, and they continue to play a huge role in how/why I lose weight. I think that part of the reason my weight loss has become stagnant is because I haven’t really gotten to the heart of all the reasons I gained weight in the first place, so they are still there below the surface. I struggle with being afraid of getting to my goal weight because then what happens if I gain it all back? I also don’t know how to handle compliments well, though I have gotten better. It both flatters me and bothers me a bit when people say, "You look beautiful! I didn’t even recognize you" because then I think, "Was I so ugly before?"

I do have a hard time knowing what I "really" look like now; sometimes I will catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror and be surprised by what I see. I can’t get an accurate image of myself in my head, if that makes sense. Oddly enough, I had this problem when I was obese. I often told myself I wasn’t that big, and it was only until I would see pictures that I realized how fat I was. I don’t know how I can look in a mirror and not see what’s really there, but I do it all the time. I still imagine myself to be very large, and every now and I then I will realize anew that I am not so large anymore. I’m not skinny by any means, but I have lost a significant amount of weight and am not the same person I was when I started this weight loss journey. I am working on loving my body and appreciating all it allows me to do.

What about you? Do you see yourself in an accurate light?

There's No Title to Make the Contents of This Post Seem Cohesive

I did my final weigh-in for November yesterday, and the scale read 185.6, which means I gained 1.4 pounds over the month, despite seeing a new low of 182.6 earlier in the month. OUCH. I wasn’t terribly surprised, however, since I did not track my eating while out of town, nor was I especially wise in my choices. I enjoyed myself thoroughly, however, and though my choices weren’t always the best, I was mindful of everything I was eating instead of just pigging out and then coming out of a food coma later and wondering what happened. So even though I gained 3 pounds, I honestly don’t feel that badly about it. I’m owning up to it and moving on. I am hopeful that I can shake the pounds soon and end the year on a high note.

Now, onto another reader question! Sarah E asked, "How did you decide to go to Union, what did you major in, and why?"

When I was in the eighth grade, a group of college students came to my church and did a Disciple Now weekend, which was basically Bible studies held in different homes. The girls who led my group were amazing, and I soaked up everything they said. They went to Union, and they talked about how they loved it there, and I just knew I was going to go there when I went to college. Fast forward to junior year, and I was getting ready to apply for college. I looked at other colleges and got invited to apply at a few of them, but I still had Union on the brain. I visited the campus and fell in love with it. In the fall of my senior year I submitted my one and only college application–to Union. I knew I was supposed to go there, and even though admission to Union carried with it a hefty tuition fee, I trusted that God would provide. I scored high enough on my ACT to apply for the highest scholarship offered by the university (tuition plus room and board), and I wrote my essay and went to an interview and waited anxiously to see what would happen. I was offered a full tuition scholarship, which eliminated most of the financial burden! I was so excited and couldn’t wait to graduate.

My time at Union was even better than I could have imagined. Though I was lonely and scared at first, I soon found a group of friends with whom I could be myself, and we made so many good memories. I was challenged in my walk with Christ through the chapel services and on-campus Bible studies and conferences, and because of Union, I was able to travel overseas to Thailand and Kenya on mission trips. If I hadn’t gone to Union, I wouldn’t have met three of the women who later were bridesmaids in my wedding–Emily, Marya, and Erin. Most of all, I wouldn’t have met my husband Stephen! Union will always hold a special place in my heart, and I am so grateful to have had such an amazing college experience!

As for how I decided on my major, I came into Union as an elementary education major but soon realized that while I enjoy little kids, I wanted my students to be able to tie their shoes and act somewhat mature, so I switched to an English major with a secondary education minor. I loved all of my English classes in high school and thought it would be great to have a major that focused on reading and writing. I took a ton of great English classes and loved my professors. At the end of my junior year I decided that I didn't want to teach high school, so I dropped my secondary ed minor (with only 2 classes and student teaching left to take) and changed to an incredibly generic minor called human studies, which is a conglomeration of several disciplines. I only lacked one class to fulfill the requirement. It was an easy way out of student teaching, basically. I regret not following through with it now, but I am still not sure I would be a good high school English teacher. I would have a hard time with classroom discipline.

So there's my long-winded response to your question, Sarah! I'm going to have to figure out how to shorten these answers so I can cover more than one question per post. :)

Now it's your turn: What did you major in during college, and do you use your major today?

All About Bailey

I know it's been an eternity since I solicited questions from all of you, but I am going to start answering them in earnest! I was so excited that one of my readers asked about our dog because now I can devote a whole post to our baby! :) Macy asked, "Do you have a dog? I think I remember you posting something about one a while back. I'd like to hear more stories about your dog and see more pictures of it too!"

Readers, meet Bailey Mount, a cocker spaniel/bulldog mix. Her parents were both purebreds who decided to date outside their respective breeds, hehe.




Stephen had no plans to get a dog but in 2004 was simply accompanying his friend Jonathan while he picked one out. But then he saw the little puppies, and the owner was having a 2/$50 special, so he thought, "Why not?" Stephen does love a good deal.

Here she is when she was younger:



I did not have the pleasure of meeting Bailey until 2006, when Stephen and I met for our first date. He came out of his apartment to meet me, Bailey in tow, and I was terrified. Bailey is not much of a people person, and she can sound quite ferocious when she wants to, so initially I was worried that my relationship with Stephen would end before it had even started because of this crazy dog, but I quickly charmed her.

Bailey is adorable and also rather quirky. Let me count the ways:

1. She likes to sleep covered up, so she has her very own blanket that we cover her with while she snoozes on the couch.



2. She loves playing with balloons. I don’t know how she doesn’t pop them (and occasionally she does), but she will grip one in her teeth and shake it around furiously, then parade around the room with it.

3. She hates it when I cough. This is so odd, but whenever I cough, her head jerks to attention and she stares at me. Often she will come over to me and just look at me, like she’s wondering if I’m dying or something. I like to tease Stephen that she loves me more because she couldn’t care less when he coughs.

4. She loves to snuggle. We both have recliners, and if I put mine up, she almost always wants to hop right up and nestle between my legs. If she is in my chair, she likes to face me, but often when she is with Stephen, she faces away from him. Again, she loves me more. :)

5. She grabs a toy to greet us whenever we come home, but doesn't really want to be petted. She just runs around with her toy in her mouth.

6. She likes to run underneath our legs.

7. She keeps all her toys around her bowls. She will even place her toys in her food bowl, then lift it up and put it back a few times before eating something.

8. She jumps in the bathtub when it's bath time.

9. She cocks her head a lot. She's a very responsive dog.

10. She learned the words to the song, "Bailey is my buddy" (which I made up and which contains the word "treat," thereby convincing her that every time we sing it, she needs to get a treat).

11. She wags when she plays dead.

12. Her tail whacks both of her sides when she wags vigorously.

13. She likes to sit on Sadie (Stephen's aunt's dog) and dominate her.

14. She can remove the plastic ring from around the top of a plastic soda bottle.

15. She is scared of the vacuum.

How could you not love this dog??