June Goals Report: Week 4

I decided it was time to change the blog, so I redesigned it and even gave it a new name!  What do you think? 

I don't know about you guys, but June just FLEW by!  I can't believe the year is almost half over.  Here's how I did with my goals this past week:

1. Lose 6 pounds. Weight as of June 1: 196.4. Weight as of June 29: 193.2. GOAL NOT MET.  While I wish that I had lost more than 3.2 pounds this month, I hope to never see those 3.2 pounds again! 

2. Cardio for at least 30 minutes, 3 times a week. Success!  Two of my workouts ended up being 45 minutes in length, including a stroller walk that I took with Charlotte on Saturday morning. 

3. Strength training twice a week. Success!  I finally met this goal 100%, in the last week of the month. Oh well, better late than never, right? :)

4. Read a Proverb each day. 6/7 days.  I did MUCH better with this goal this week, although if I am honest I will say that while I read a Proverb 6 out of 7 days, I didn't really stop to digest the truths in those verses every day, which is kind of the whole point in reading the Bible to begin with!

5. Eat within my calorie range 5 out of 7 days. I honestly don't know how I ended up doing with this goal because I was a bad girl and didn't track at ALL this weekend, but I am sure I went above my range definitely on Friday and Saturday. 

I am pleased with how some things went this month, like exercising, but there are 2 areas where I really need to step it up if I am going to see real results on the scale: my eating and my time with the Lord.  Obviously, I have GOT to do better than staying in range 4 times out of the week, end of question. I can exercise all I want, but as long as I eat more than I burn, I'm not going to lose weight.  It's as simple as that.  And if I don't take my time with the Lord seriously and take this battle with food seriously, then all of my efforts are in vain because at the root of all of this is my love of food over my love of God.  If I can't change that, then any other benefits are only temporary. 

I am still thinking about what my goals for July will be, but I will definitely post them before the week is up.  How did you all do with your goals for the month?

And since I neglected to post a picture of Charlotte on my last blog, here's one for you today:

Man, I love that face! :)

Our Growing Girl

I was able to take off work today so I could take Charlotte to get her 4 month shots.  I can't even believe it's time for that!  Stephen met us at the doctor's office, and after we got Charlotte weighed we hung out for awhile until the doctor came.  Here are Charlotte's current stats:
Weight: 14 pounds, 6 ounces (her birth weight was 6 pounds, 12 ounces!)
Height: 24 1/2 inches (19 inches at birth)

I could not believe Charlotte is already a 14-pounder!  She had a HUGE growth spurt between her 2 month and 4 month appointments, and the doctor says she is doing great.  Of course, Charlotte cried really hard when she got her shots, and I hated how her little eyes welled up with tears and how she looked at me as if to question why in the world I would subject her to such a thing.  Fortunately, though, she calmed down within 10 minutes and then fell asleep in the car on the way home!  So far she seems to be doing well, so I hope that continues and she doesn't have any problems.  We've had such a fun today together, and it will be hard to drop her off at daycare tomorrow. 

We'll go back for the next checkup at 6 months.  Who knows how big she'll be then! 

Kicks and Giggles

I think it's much more fun to look at cute babies than write about weight gain, don't you? And it just so happens that I have a cute baby! See?

That sweet little face just makes my heart melt!  Charlotte is literally getting bigger every day.  I don't weigh her every day or anything, but I just know she is.  She is smiling a ton and has even given us a few little gigles, and she just started rolling over earlier this week!  Of course, the minute I tried to capture this impressive feat on camera, she wouldn't do it.  She LOVES playing with her activity gym and batting at the toys hanging from the toy bar on her bouncer all while kicking her chubby little legs furiously. It's so fun to see her discovering new things and realizing that this world is a big, big place. 

Unfortunately, after giving us about 1-2 blissful weeks of peace at night, the little stinker has not slept for 8 hours at a time at all recently. We're not really sure what has changed, but she's still super young, so we're just waiting for the day when those longer sleep stretches stick.  Right now she's going to sleep between 8:00 and 8:30 (usually after much fighting--why oh why does she fight the sleep??), waking up around 2 or 3 and then sleeping until 6:30 or 7.  Now that I'm typing it out doesn't seem that terrible, and it wouldn't be that terrible if she wouldn't wake up randomly in between those longer stretches.  She will have little moments of crying out in the middle of the night, and sometimes she will go back to sleep on her own but usually one of us has to go in there and either give her the pacifier or hold her for a minute before she goes back down.  I'm trying to treasure these times, though, because she's still small enough to snuggle in my arms, and I know that won't always be the case. 

Basically, she's a delight, and I couldn't be more in love!

Oh, and before I forget, I'd like to extend a welcome to the new followers of my blog.  I'm sure you are here because of all the mediocre weight loss I've been posting about, right? :)

June Goals Report: Week 3

1. Lose 6 pounds. Weight as of June 15: 192.6. Weight as of June 22: 194.4  Blah.  I gained 1.8 pounds.  Obviously, I want the scale to be moving in the OTHER direction, but as you'll see from the rest of this week's report, I didn't earn it. 


2. Cardio for at least 30 minutes, 3 times a week. Success!  This seems to be the one thing I am able to do each week.  On Monday I completed Week 6 of Couch to 5k with a 25-minute run.  I thought I might die while doing it, but I felt great after I was finished.  That seems to be my general experience with running: I hate it while I'm doing it and love it when I'm done.

3. Strength training twice a week. 1/2 times. I just can't get into strength training mode, but that's just an excuse.

4. Read a Proverb each day. 4/7 days.  And I wonder why this past week was such a mess.  Here's my answer.  I didn't focus enough on the Lord and tried to do things on my own strength, which I've learned long ago is pathetic.  I NEED Him if I'm going to lose this weight.  I need to stop thinking about my overeating as a bad habit and start acknowledging it as sin, plain and simple.

5. Eat within my calorie range 5 out of 7 days. FAIL.  I stayed in range 4/7 days once again. This weekend was pretty terrible, as Stephen and I got free tickets to see the local AA baseball team, and those free tickets also came with free food--lots of it.  Then on Father's Day there was fried chicken and cake.

There are only 8 days left in this month, which doesn't give me much time to meet my weight loss goal, but I am not giving up!  Even if I only lose 2 pounds this month, 2 pounds is better than zero.  I need to finish strong! 

How are your goals for the month coming along? 

June Goals Report: Week 2

I'm super giddy about posting this because I had a pretty great week.  See for yourself:

1. Lose 6 pounds. Weight as of June 8: 196.6.  Weight as of June 15: 192.6.  That's right, I lost FOUR pounds!! I was ecstatic when I saw this number this morning.  I weighed myself on Saturday and was 193.4, which was good, and I was just hoping to stay there until my "official" weigh-in this morning, but I did even better than that.  I'm so happy!  Only 2.2 pounds to reach my goal for the month.

2. Cardio for at least 30 minutes, 3 times a week. Success! I completed 3, 35-minute workouts (including a 20 minute run-yeah!) and am now on week 6 of Couch to 5k. 

3. Strength training twice a week. 1/2 times.  Although I will say that I had planned to do my second session last night, but my arms were sore after giving blood on Monday.  (It's a long story, but let's just say that it involved getting both arms stuck and then having the needle go deep into my vein on my left arm.).  So I wimped out, basically.  Next week, though, I will get in both workouts!

4. Read a Proverb each day. Success 6/7 days. Proverbs is just what I need right now.  I am really enjoying it.  A verse that really jumped out at me this week that I actually just read yesterday is Proverbs 14:30: A tranquil heart gives life to the flesh, but an envious heart makes the bones rot."  Powerful stuff, huh? I may have to write more about this verse later.

5. Eat within my calorie range 5 out of 7 days. Once again, I only succeeded with this 4/7 days, but interestingly enough, none of the days when I went over were on the weekend, and the overage on two of the days was less than 150 calories, so I don't feel TOO terrible about this. 

All in all, I am thrilled with the results of this week and am going to use this momentum to propel me forward.  I must remember every day that being healthy and losing weight feels much better than drowning my problems in a massive bowl of ice cream or a large order of fries!

The Zero Calorie Solution to Stress

I don't talk much about my job on here, but it has been stressful lately because one of the people in my department retired recently, and so my workload has increased significantly. This morning, I got overwhelmed just looking at the work piled up on my desk, and I felt more frazzled as the morning wore on.  By the time lunch rolled around, I was ready to just zip through a drive-thru and order large fries and a large chocolate milkshake so I could feel better.  Or at least, I told myself that eating such food would make me feel better.  I was so close to going, too--so close to succumbing to the very strong urge to respond to stress by eating--but then I reminded myself of a few important things:

1.  Eating junk would not make me feel better.  If anything, I would only feel worse because not only would I have work stress to deal with, I'd have to deal with the guilt of eating things I knew I shouldn't.

2.  Eating junk would not solve my problem.  My work would still be there when I got back, and no amount of french fries could change that.

3.  My impulse to turn to food to comfort me shows me what I value and what I trust.  If I truly valued and trusted Christ with my life, going to Him with my burden would have been my first instinct, but instead I thought of food.

All of these thoughts swirled around in my head, and I managed to avoid the drive-thru.  Instead, I took a few deep breaths in my car and prayed and asked God to give me strength, not just to face my job, but to face (and conquer!) the temptation to self-medicate with food.  And you know what?  I felt better.  Jesus tells us to cast our burdens on Him, so why don't I take Him up on that more often?  Why do I believe Satan's lie that I am facing everything on my own?  The love and grace and power of Christ is mine for the taking, if I but ask.  As 2 Peter 1:3 says, his divine power has given me all that I need for life and godliness!

And guess what? 

Prayer is calorie-free. :)

June Goals: Week 1 Report

So technically the first week of June ended yesterday, but I couldn't postpone blogging about Charlotte any longer!  :) 

Here's how I did for the first week:

1.  Lose 6 pounds.  Epic fail here.  I actually gained .2 pounds this week, weighing in at 196.6.  I am SO ready to see something besides 196 on the scale!  I am sure the gain is due to the not one but two anniversary dinners Stephen and I had--one at Outback and one at The Melting Pot.  YUM.

2.  Cardio for at least 30 minutes, 3 times a week.  Success!  I completed 4 workouts this past week, one of which was 45 minutes, and I am now in week 5 of Couch to 5k. 

3.  Strength training twice a week.  Fail.  This is pitiful, but I completely forgot I made this goal!  Oops.

4.  Read a Proverb each day.  Success 6/7 days.  I am really enjoying reading Proverbs, and it's easy to know where I left off because I just go by the date. :)

5.  Eat within my calorie range 5 out of 7 days.  I completely blew it on Thursday, Friday, and Saturday, so I only ate within my range 4/7 days, which is pretty awful.  It's a wonder I didn't gain more than .2 pounds! 

So I did great in the exercise department and poorly in the eating department.  However, I do actually feel like I am making progress with my eating because I am much more mindful of why I want to eat and am trying to stop and think before shoving food in my mouth.  It's going to be a long journey, but I am going to see it through. 

Here's to a better week two! 

Charlotte at 3 Months

Our little girl turned 3 months old on Saturday!  I can't believe it.  Here's a picture of her taken the day she was born:

And here are two pictures we took on Saturday:

I know I'm her mom and everything, but girl is CUTE!  At 3 months old Charlotte is smiling a TON and follows Stephen and me with her eyes wherever we go.  She is a much happier baby than she was in the first two months, and for this we are so grateful.  She's slept for 8 hours straight a few times and regularly sleeps at least 6 hours at a time at night, which is also a HUGE blessing to Mommy and Daddy!  She just started taking 6 ounces in her bottle, and she is blowing bubbles and drooling and mouthing things like crazy, which makes me think she is getting ready to start teething, but that could still be several months away.  One of the best parts of my day is seeing her in the morning when she wakes up and seeing her after I get off work because she always has a big grin for me.

It's hard to imagine life without her now even though she's only been with us for 3 months.  I can't wait to see the little woman she is going to become!

Feelin' Hot Hot Hot

Well friends, I am clearly a genius because I thought it would be a great idea to start running during the hottest time of the year.  It is already in the upper 90s here in West Tennessee, and even though I much prefer running outside to running on the treadmill, I also prefer not having a heat stroke.  I am however going to try running at night as soon as I can find some reflective tape to put on my clothes, so as to avoid collisions with motor vehicles.

Yesterday was Week 5, Day 1 of C25k, and I kept putting it off because I was nervous about the three 5 minute runs the plan calls for.  Plus, I knew that on Day 3 I have to run for a full 20 minutes, which seems crazy to me even the second time around.  Still, as it got later and later last night, I knew it was time to stop goofing off and get to it.  I started off reluctantly, but I soon found myself absorbed in the workout.  All in all, it wasn't bad at all!  I think I would have enjoyed it more outside, but I did have The Bachelorette on, which allowed me ample time to be completely appalled by the behavior of Bentley. (I mean seriously, how did the producers even find such a lowlife?).  Before I knew it, the official workout was over, but I still felt like going, so I walked for another 15 minutes and ended up with a great 45 minute workout.  I love it when I go farther than I plan to when I am working out.  I try to trick myself into this every now and then by saying that I will just go 5 more minutes, and then usually I want to go a little bit more than that to reach a certain distance, and I end up burning more calories and feeling even better about myself. 

When I am tempted to eat junk or skip a workout now, I am trying to tell myself two things: 1) I am made for more, and 2) It feels much better to be healthy than to be fat.

I think I can, I think I can...

It's Go Time

 I'm ready to get serious about shedding this baby weight, so with that seriousness comes a plan and goals (of course!).  But first, some incredibly humiliating pictures that will serve as my "before" pictures.  I hate to post these, but I am really glad I took them because they were a nice bit of reality for me.  I intentionally chose clothing that is too snug so I will be able to really see the difference when I take progress pictures. 

These were taken today:

 

I cringed when I saw these, but I need to face the reality and realize what I am up against so I can conquer this weight problem for good! 

Starting weight (as of June 1, 2011): 196.4 pounds
Goal weight: 156 pounds

40 pounds is a good amount of weight to lose, and I thought a lot about what target date I want to have.  I finally settled on January 21, 2012 because that will mark the 4th anniversary of the day I decided to get my act together and lose weight (you can read about that here).  That date is a about 7.5 months away, so my weight loss will need to be steady, but I think it's doable if I stick with my plan and reach my goals. 

So what is my plan?  It's simple: count calories and exercise 3 times a week.  Right now I'm struggling to even get in 3 exercise sessions, so I don't think I can expect any more than 3 right now, but I'm hoping that I will be able to increase my workouts to 4-5 times a week once I get into the groove of things.  I'm going to be using SparkPeople to track my food intake, and when I input my numbers and my target date for losing the weight along with the amount of calories I expect to burn each week through exercise, the site gave me the calorie range of 1290-1640.  I have not eaten in a range that low for a LONG time, so it's definitely going to be a challenge, but we all know this isn't easy, right?!  And if my 261-pound self could eat 1500 calories or less a day, then my 196-pound self has NO reason not to do likewise! 

My goals for the month of June are short and sweet:

1.  Lose 6 pounds.  If I lose 6 pounds each month, I'll meet my ultimate goal and then some.

2.  Cardio for at least 30 minutes, 3 times a week.  I am on week 4 of Couch to 5k, and even though it's kind of kicking my tail at the moment, I'm going to persevere and finish the program so I can at least be running a 5k distance somewhat regularly by the time fall rolls around. 

3.  Strength training twice a week.  I am going to keep this really simple, as in crunches and arm exercises using dumbbells and resistance bands, and my sessions probably won't last longer than 15 minutes, but I know that a little is better than nothing, and I definitely need to incorporate some strength training into my routine if I'm going to get rid of all the excess fat I have.

4.  Read a Proverb each day.  I have struggled to spend consistent time with the Lord ever since Charlotte was born, so I am setting the tiny goal of reading through the book of Proverbs.  That will get me back into the habit of spending daily time in the Word and in prayer, and it will do wonders for my relationship with Jesus. 

5.  Eat within my calorie range 5 out of 7 days.  I will aim for 6/7 days next month and then 7/7 in August, but I am going to give myself a little wiggle room in the beginning as I adjust my eating and figure out how to maximize nutrition while minimizing calories.

That's it!  All of these goals are doable, although #1 and #5 have me the most nervous.  Since this month started on a Wednesday, my weeks will go from Wednesday-Wednesday, so my next weigh-in and goals update will be on June 8. 

I am really excited about improving my health and strengthening my faith and can't wait to see what this month has in store! 

What goals and plans do you hope to make reality this June?

Not Giving Up

It's true, I'm not giving up.  Thanks to those who commented on my last post and encouraged me.  I knew even when I wrote it that I wouldn't actually give up, but I think I needed to just say that I wanted to so I could move past it.  I have felt like I have been in somewhat of a dark place lately, really struggling with my weight and feeling mushy and squishy and unhealthy and just fat.  What is frustrating about feeling like this is that instead of using that as motivation to get my healthy living into full gear, I just got depressed and felt like I would never lose the weight.  I would look at pictures of myself right around the time that I got pregnant and mourn that person and all that she accomplished because I feel like my current weight problem erased all that I previously achieved.  I know that is completely irrational, but rationality has not been my strong suit these days.  Then I would feel guilty for being so vain and absorbed in how I look when I have so many blessings in my life (hello, wonderful husband and beautiful daughter!), and that would just make me want to eat some more. Basically, I've been sort of a mess, and in a lot of ways I still am, but I think I am starting to come out of the fog that has been hovering around me and am finally seeing the light.

Yesterday, I threw away a package of Oreos.  I love Oreos, and I bought a small package of them last week when I was at Walgreens because I was feeling depressed about my weight.  Yes, that's right, I bought JUNK FOOD to help me feel less depressed about my weight because I still persist in thinking that food is going to solve all of my problems.  Oh, the lies I have been telling myself.  And the Oreos were the Double Stuf variety, no less.  I told myself I would only eat a serving size (2 cookies), but then I found myself eating 4 cookies and then wanting more and more.  Every day I would come to work and those Oreos were calling my name, and I was too weak to ignore the call.  Yesterday I finally decided that enough was enough, and I threw the rest of them out.  And you know what?  Throwing out those cookies felt AMAZING, much better than devouring them did.  It feels GOOD to make healthy choices. 

I cannot let my life be governed by crazy food cravings.  As Made to Crave, an awesome book I have been reading, says,  I was made for more than that!  Indeed, it is for freedom that Christ has set me free, and I have been living in terrible bondage for far too long.  I have been ignoring the spiritual part of this weight loss thing for a long time, and it's time to stop.  I have to acknowledge my gluttony for what it is and seek Jesus with all that is in me, or this obsession with food will swallow me up and prevent me from living the abundant life God intended for me.  I need to keep this truth from the book ever at the front of my mind: "If we want to conquer our cravings, we'll have to redirect them to God." 

And one thought at a time, one craving at a time, one day at a time, I will get there.