Split Personality

Do you ever feel like you change depending on the people you are around? I have been thinking about this lately because I think I do that. I don't know that it's an entirely conscious thing, but I noticed that when I moved back home after being at Union for four years, I didn't feel comfortable being the person I was at Union. I felt more reserved, more self-conscious, more afraid, and yet I am around people who have known me for years. People at home (and this doesn't really include all my friends at home, of course) don't know the goofy side of me, or the giggly side, or whatever other "side" I don't feel free to show here. So why did/do I feel that way? Why can't I be myself no matter the situation or person? Part of me feels intimidated, but I couldn't tell you what it is I'm intimidated by.

Is it hypocritical of me to be a sort of social chameleon? Probably. I'm not saying I've become a completely different person, just that I would be interested to see what people from my two different worlds say about who they think I am. Would my Union friends say the same thing as my Bartlett friends? I don't think they would. Hopefully they would all know that I love the Lord, but aside from that, what would be the same in the things they see in me? Plus, in my four years at Union I felt like I made more friends than I currently have in the city I have lived in all my life, which is probably why I spend just about every other weekend in Jackson instead of staying here. I guess what I mean is that for the most part it seems that I have acquaintances here and friends in Jackson. To be honest, I'm lonely. And I don't say that to make anyone pity me; it's just the state of life I am in right now, and it's taking some adjustment. I don't really know why I wrote this, and I'll probably delete it or heavily edit it tomorrow, but for right now I can't sleep and I needed to say it, so there it is. I don't even know if I've made any sense, but since this is my blog, I reserve the right to be incoherent! Good night, and don't be a wimp like me. Have the courage to be yourself no matter what.