Weigh-in Wednesday-Scaling the Wall

Last week's weight: 190.8
This week's weight: 191.2
GAIN of .4 pounds

I'm not surprised, and I'm actually relieved it's only a .4 gain.  For whatever reason I am just stuck, mentally and physically.  I told Stephen the other night that I was going to give up on weight loss, and I was only half joking.  I think I am just tired, so very tired, of trying to lose weight.  I've been doing this for the better part of 3.5 years.  What's hard is that I know other people who would have already lost their weight and been maintaining for 2 years, and yet here I am, still trying to shake this excess weight.  Yes, I did have a baby not even 5 months ago and was pregnant for 9 months before that, so my weight loss was interrupted, but I think I've just sort of mentally checked out, and the scale is reflecting that. 

Stephen and I talked about it, and while he said he would support no matter what, he said he would hate to see me get so close to my goal only to give up now.  The truth is, I would hate it too.  It would be one thing if I could honestly say, "Okay, I am happy where I am.  I feel good about my body and about my health, so I will just stop here."  But I can't say that, not at all.  I am not happy with my body and I am definitely not living as healthy as I need to be, so if I were to stop now, I'd be giving up on myself, selling myself short and possibly cheating myself out of a better life.  What sense does that make? 

Somehow I've got to get over this wall I've been facing.  Right now it seems insurmountable, but I know it's not.  Even as I wrote this, the Lord brought Psalm 18:29 to mind: "With your help I can advance against a troop; with my God I can scale a wall."  Sure, I'm not facing a literal troop, but I'm definitely in a battle for my life. As I read more of Psalm 18, I couldn't help but see the parallels between facing an actual battle and facing a battle against sin, which is precisely what I'm doing.  God promises not to leave us alone in this battle, but to arm us:

It is God who arms me with strength
   and keeps my way secure.
³³ He makes my feet like the feet of a deer;
   he causes me to stand on the heights.
³⁴ He trains my hands for battle;
   my arms can bend a bow of bronze.
³⁵ You make your saving help my shield,
   and your right hand sustains me;
   your help has made me great.
³⁶ You provide a broad path for my feet,
   so that my ankles do not give way.  
³⁷ I pursued my enemies and overtook them;
   I did not turn back till they were destroyed.
³⁸ I crushed them so that they could not rise;
   they fell beneath my feet.
³⁹ You armed me with strength for battle;
   you humbled my adversaries before me.

With my God, I can scale this wall.  I can win this battle.  And so can you.   

Nom Nom Nom

This weekend Charlotte tried something new: rice cereal!  Well, sort of.  She's actually been getting rice cereal in her bottles since she was 5 1/2 weeks old because of her reflux issues, but at Charlotte's 4 month checkup, our pediatrician suggested we start giving her a little cereal at night to help her get ready for solids at 6 months and to hopefully help her feel more full at night.  We actually tried the cereal that very same night of her appointment, but Charlotte was not having any of it.  It just kind of sat on her tongue, so we didn't really push it too much.  We thought we'd try it again this past Saturday night, and she did MUCH better!  She started off rather slowly because we had to wake her up to eat her last meal before bedtime, but as she woke up, she got better at it, and I think she liked it! Here's a little video we took of her first bites:

And some pictures to go along with it:

Charlotte gives rice cereal her smile of approval.   I just can't get enough of that sweet face!

Weigh-in Wednesday

I've decided to make Wednesdays my official weigh-in day.  I like that it falls in the middle of the week so if it's a gain, at least it's not Monday.  Weight gains always seem worse on Mondays, don't you think? 

Weight on July 6 (when I last recorded it): 193.4
Weight today: 190.8
LOSS of 2.6 pounds

Granted, that loss is over a 2-week span, so it only means a 1.3 pound loss each week, but I am happy with it nonetheless.  This weight is a new postpartum low number for me.  I reached 191 about 3 weeks after I had Charlotte and then gained some weight back in the weeks that followed.  In reality, it's taken me all this time to lose .2 pounds, but I don't care!  I am SO CLOSE to getting out of the 190s!  I will do a happy dance on the day when I get below 190. 

I remember when I was trying to lose weight and was just dying to see a number below 200 on the scale, and I finally did that in March of 2009.  Now here I am, over two years later, trying to see a number not that far below 200.  I could allow this to depress me, but instead I am taking the advice of my friend Diana (who's getting married in less than 2 weeks-yay!).  I'm celebrating the fact that even though I am not where I want to be, I am still SEVENTY POUNDS below my highest weight of 261.  Losing 70 pounds is no small feat, so I am going to try and remind myself of this accomplishment when I get frustrated.  I did have a baby just 4.5 months ago, after all.  I need to do what my sweet friend Andrea recommended and give myself a little grace. Do I have smart friends, or what?? :) 

I hope you all have a happy Wednesday!  Tell me what's going on with you!