Weigh-In Wednesday: Goodbye, 2012!

Is anyone else surprised that Christmas is next week? I am. The holiday season, including Thanksgiving, totally sneaked up on me this year. I blame it on being in the hospital. (I have found that I can blame a lot of things on being in the hospital. It's quite handy, really.) Anyway, I am excited about this Christmas for many reasons, but one is because for the first time in three years, I have the entire week of Christmas off from work! The law firm where I work will be closed, and as work has been insanely busy the past few weeks, I welcome the break and the chance to be with family and celebrate Christ's birth.

I was thinking the other day about goals to make for the coming year, which of course made me reflect on the goals I made for this year and whether or not I met them. Since I'm sure none of you remember what my goals were (I barely remembered sometimes, haha), here they are: 

1. Reach my goal weight (between 155-160 pounds). Check.
2. Run a half marathon. Check.
3. Read through the Bible. Check. (Well, almost. I am 96% of the way there and have no plans to flake out at the finish!)

For the first time in I don't know when, I actually accomplished all of my goals for the year! Granted, I only made three goals, but still, I am really excited to have actually achieved these things.

I know what you're thinking. You're thinking, "Did I miss the blog post wherein Erin rejoiced over reaching her goal weight?" No, dear reader, you did not in fact miss that post, but I have in fact reached my goal weight. The last weigh-in recorded on my blog was October 17, near the very beginning of the illness that I later learned was ulcerative colitis. On that date, I weighed in at 170.8 pounds. This morning, I weighed 157.8 pounds. I've lost 13 pounds in the past 9 weeks. At one point after being sick, I was down to 150 pounds (I lost a crazy amount of weight over the span of a few days the first week I was out of the hospital), but over the past 4 weeks I've fluctuated between 155-158 pounds, and I am very happy with that.

It feels weird to celebrate this achievement because I didn't really "achieve" it. I got sick and ended up in the hospital. Still, I am happy that I haven't gained all of the weight back, and I am happy that I managed to lose 90 pounds on my own before getting sick, so I can look at losing another 13 more with the help of a chronic condition as a gift. A gift that means I now wear a size 12, a size I don't think I ever wore for any significant length of time. A gift that means I had to go shopping for new clothes. A gift that means I feel a little more comfortable in my own skin.

I still don't know what my goals for 2013 will be, but I am pretty certain that losing weight will not be one of them. :)

The New Normal

I have struggled with what to write on here since getting diagnosed with ulcerative colitis. It's not that I don't have anything to say, but more that I don't know how to focus my thoughts. I'm a bit all over the place these days, so the blog may a bit all over the place as well. I haven't been sure of how much I should share about my condition, but let's be real, I've never been one to hold much back on the blog, so I'll probably be chronicling a lot of this new normal that I am still adjusting to.

The good news is, I am feeling much better. Though all of my symptoms have not resolved (and by symptoms I basically mean diarrhea), I have a healthy appetite, and I have more energy. I also have been sleeping a lot better (except for last night) thanks to a new sleeping pill, which is a blessing (the steroid I am taking comes with some delightful side effects, one of which seems to be insomnia). I still feel physically weak and have occasional bouts of dizziness, but I have come a long way from the days where I felt as though I couldn't even get out of the bed. I am hoping to start getting in some light forms of exercise soon, maybe this week if I can find the time. I certainly don't think I'll be running any races any time soon, but I am longing to get back to running. I miss it so much.

Speaking of running, my GI doctor told me at my last appointment that he would advise against me running any more half marathons because it could aggravate my condition. I was very disappointed when he told me this because I had planned to try and run two half marathons, but I can still try and run shorter distances, so that is what I will do. After all, I still have to chase after my goal of getting a sub-30:00 5k time!

Thursday of this week is a big day for me. Since I have a fairly severe case of ulcerative colitis and have not responded to the steroids as well as the doctor would have liked (I should have been off them by now), I am going to be on some medication for the long term. There are two main drugs that my doctor recommended--Remicade and Humira. Remicade is administered through an IV once every 8 weeks, and Humira is a shot that I would give myself every 2 weeks. After researching and praying and talking with the doctor, I've decided to go with Humira. I don't love the idea of giving myself shots, but I do like that I can do it at home and not have to go anywhere. The side effects and risks of both drugs are very similar, and if I do not respond well to the Humira, I imagine the doctor will put me on Remicade next. On Thursday I will go to the doctor and be trained on how to give the injections. The first round is 4 shots, so I am glad that the nurse will be helping me with those because it's kind of daunting to think of doing so many at one time. After 15 days, I will give myself 2 injections, and then every 15 days after that I will only give myself 1 injection. After about a month of this, I should be a pro, right?! The goal of the medication is to put me in remission, and I pray that it happens sooner rather than later, but at this point I don't really know what to expect.


At times I have been overwhelmed when I think about the fact that I will have this condition for the rest of my life, but I have had to stop myself from thinking that way. The truth is, all I am given is today, and that is a gift. I don't have to worry about tomorrow or the next day, or the day after that. God has my life in His ever capable, trustworthy hands, and none of this has come as a surprise to Him. He is using this whole experience to draw me closer to Him, and I can honestly say that the past several weeks have left me feeling more in love with Jesus than ever before. I am so, so grateful for my life.

Counting My Blessings

When I was in the hospital, I had a lot of time on my hands. One thing I did to keep myself occupied was make a list of the blessings I experienced. It helped me to focus on all the good things that God was doing through a difficult situation, and it was a tangible way for me to see how well He was taking care of me. I thought I would post the list here, especially since Thanksgiving is tomorrow, and I have so much for which to be thankful.

Blessings in the midst of a trial:

• doctor ordering a retest for C diff and finding out I didn't have it
• getting flowers from my boss and my previous place of employment
• visits from friends, family, and several ministers from my church
• cable (especially HGTV!)
• my Kindle Fire
• free wifi
• unlimited texting (I would have been in BIG trouble if not for this)
• sweet nurses
• getting Chic-fil-A sweet tea from one nurse
• getting off IV fluids
• getting IV out of left arm
• taking a shower with both hands
• my iPhone
• eating real food and not just liquids
• Popsicles and ice cream
• sleeping pill
• getting the right diagnosis
• being able to walk around 
• health insurance
• slippers
• getting blood drawn without pain (this one lab tech was AMAZING)
• getting to watch my church's service on TV
• a pink robe
• the YouVersion Bible app (I listened to a lot of Scripture read aloud using this app)
• peace from the Lord
• comfort and a lack of worry (this is HUGE for me-I am a chronic worrywart)
• feeling hungry
• getting to see Charlotte

The biggest blessings by far are definitely my parents, Stephen's parents, and most of all, my husband. My parents live in Memphis and made the trip back and forth to Jackson more times than I can count. They kept Charlotte for three straight weekends to give Stephen a break, and my mom came up when Charlotte had her stitches and then waited with me in the emergency room, and she and my dad visited as often as they could. I truly don't know what we would have done without them.

Stephen's parents came down from Illinois last Wednesday and stayed until Sunday. They cleaned, they bought groceries, they cooked, they cared for Charlotte, and so much more. It was a tremendous help and comfort to me to have them here after I got home so I could try and get as much rest as possible. I feel so blessed to have such amazing in-laws.

And Stephen. I can't even put into words how amazing he has been. He has been my rock and my support through all of this, never complaining. I think the bond that he and Charlotte have is even stronger now because he was essentially her primary caregiver for weeks, and she never has to doubt how much he loves her. I am forever grateful that God brought us together for such a time as this.

With all of these blessings, how can I have anything but joy in my heart?

May you find an abundance of blessings in your own life. Happy Thanksgiving!

Through It All, I See His Love

I have no idea how to even begin to explain everything that has happened over the last several weeks, so I thought I would construct a timeline. I want to remember all of it (although I'm pretty sure I will even if I don't write about it). Some of it may be TMI, but I've lost all sense of modesty when it comes to bodily functions. :) The timing of this post is brought to you by Prednisone, which keeps me up at all hours of the night.

October 12: I started to experience diarrhea but didn't feel too bad and managed to run a 5k the next day.
October 16: I was still having diarrhea, but this is the last day I truly felt well. I ran 4 miles that night.
October 18: I started to feel worse--nausea, fatigue, loss of appetite.
October 20: While in Memphis celebrating my upcoming 31st birthday, I ran a fever.
October 21: Made my first trip to convenient care and was told I had a UTI. I still don't know why I didn't argue with that diagnosis, but I have never had a UTI before so I trusted the doctor and took the medicines he gave. He said for me to come back in 2 days if I didn't feel better.
October 23: I was not better at all, so I went back to convenient care. At this point, I experienced abdominal pain every time I walked or even just stood up. I was sent for a CT scan, which showed that my colon was inflamed. I was given 2 different antibiotics to treat the infection (Flagyl and Cipro).
October 24-26: I still felt bad but tried to work and retain some sense of normalcy. At this point Stephen was pretty much handling everything at home.
October 28: I went back to convenient care and felt like I was going to pass out when my name was called. The doctor ordered stool cultures.
October 30: The doctor called and told me I had tested positive for C diff. He increased my dosage of Flagyl and discontinued the Cipro.
October 31: I made it through about 30 minutes at our church's trunk or treat with Charlotte and then felt completely horrible the rest of the evening.
November 1: I established care with a primary care physician, who told me I needed to give the medicine a little more time work.
November 2: I ran fever and got sick to my stomach that night and felt miserable all weekend.
November 4: Charlotte fell and cut her ear, requiring a trip to the hospital. She had to be admitted so the plastic surgeon could put 12 stitches in her left ear. The whole experience was awful in itself but was compounded by the fact that I felt like I was dying the whole time we were waiting in the triage room. I even talked to the doctor there about how I was feeling, and he advised that I just go home and rest. Even though it killed me to miss my baby's surgery, I also knew I just didn't have the energy for it.

Snuggling with Daddy in the triage room

Smiling even at 1 a.m. the night she was admitted

November 5: Charlotte came home, doing really well given the circumstances. My mom, however, determined that we were going back to the emergency room and that someone was going to listen to me about not getting better. We got there at 2 p.m. and did not get called back to a room until 9 p.m. It was the longest 7 hours of my life, and I went to the bathroom literally every 30 minutes. My pulse was 118 (as though I had been doing a light cardio workout), and my potassium level was dangerously low. I had a repeat CT scan that night, and my colon was still inflamed.
November 6: My doctor in the hospital, Dr. Lofton (whom I really liked) decided to repeat the C. diff test, and it came back negative. I never had C diff, but I had been treated for it for 2 weeks. On this day I also met my GI doctor, Dr. Szych (it was a God thing that he happened to be the one on call because I had previously had an appointment to meet with him on November 7). I worked on eating with my right hand, since I couldn't bend my left arm due to the IV being there (they had started it in my right arm initially, but it stopped working while I was still in the ER).

My dinner one night. Yum.

November 7: I had a colonoscopy (never thought I'd have THAT before age 50!). Dr. Szych felt pretty certain that I had ulcerative colitis, but he wanted to wait until the biopsies came back before he confirmed this. I was started on IV steroids.
November 8: The biopsy results confirmed a diagnosis of ulcerative colitis, and Dr. Szych told me that I have a pretty moderate to severe case. After being on a liquid diet since being admitted, I was thrilled when I was allowed to have soft foods at lunch this day, but my stomach didn't tolerate it, so I went back to full liquids at dinner. In other news, I don't recommend pureed egg.
November 10: This was a good day. I got the IV in my left arm removed , so I was able to use my left hand more freely, and I got to take a shower using both hands. My sweet nurse that day also brought me a large sweet tea from Chic-fil-A, which was amazing because the hospital tea was basically brown-colored water. They placed the new IV in my right hand, so my mobility was much improved. I was on the same floor as the newborn nursery, so I took short walks in the hopes of catching lots of baby cuteness, but I think I saw about 3 babies the whole time I was there! Selfish mommies must have kept them in their rooms with them all the time. :)
November 11: I was feeling some better and hoped I would get to go home, but the doctors decided I needed one more day.

Snuggles with my baby.

November 12: I was finally discharged! I got home around 5 p.m. and got to miss the hospital's meatloaf. I am taking Prednisone and another medicine called Asacol, which I have to take 3 pills 3 times a day.

Lots of pills

It has been quite the roller coaster since I have been home. I didn't feel significantly better the first few days, and on Friday I actually went back to convenient care because I felt so dizzy and weak and had lost 14 pounds just since being home, but all my lab work came back normal. Sunday, however, I think I finally turned a corner. I went to church that morning for the first time in 5 weeks, and on Monday I even worked a half day of work (though it completely exhausted me). Charlotte is also doing better, although she has understandably been super clingy. After not seeing her for the better part of week, I will take all the snuggles I can get!

Happy girl

Some might look at all of this and think I have very little to be thankful for, but I couldn't disagree more. This whole experience has given me an entirely new understanding of the Lord's goodness and mercy in my life. He has more than made Himself known to me in my time of deepest need, and I know now more than ever that He is true to His promises. I have said more than once that if it took all of this for me to see God reveal Himself and refine me in this way, then it was all worth it, and I would do it all again. The love of Jesus has seen me through this, and the love of Jesus can see you through whatever you too may be facing. I can't tell you enough how much you need Him. I can have the healthiest body in the world, but if I don't have Him, I am lost. If you have questions about what it means to have a relationship with Jesus, please comment or email me. I would love to tell you all about Him.

Home Sweet Home

Well, I can officially check "Spend one week in the hospital" off my bucket list. I am home now, though, and my heart is full of the goodness of God.

More to come later!

Still Sick

I wanted to write a quick update to let you all know what is going on with my health. I found out on Tuesday that I have what's called C difficile, which is a bacterium that has infected my colon. Most people who get this have spent time in the hospital or been on long courses of antibiotics, neither of which applies to me. Even though I don't know how I got it, I have it, and I am still not feeling well. This has without a doubt been the worst I have ever felt, even worse than when I had mono. I have some days that are better than others, but most days find me making multiple trips to the bathroom and feeling wiped of energy and appetite. The antibiotics I am on have also made me nauseated, something the anti-nausea medicine I am taking only sometimes helps.

On the bright side, I've lost 8 pounds, but I wouldn't wish this diet on my worst enemy.

I have an appointment with a GI doctor on Wednesday to find out of there is anything else going on to complicate things, and I will keep you all updated. In the meantime, please pray for me, that God would restore my appetite and my strength so I can be a functioning member of society. Pray that I continue to trust in God and not fall prey to self- pity. And pray for my sweet husband and daughter, who are making do without much help from me.

Thank you for reading and for praying.

Life Lately

I know it's not uncommon for me to blog erratically, but this most recent blogging break was unplanned yet necessary. To give you an idea of what I've been up to, I present you with this picture:

Yes, I've been sick, sicker than I've ever been in my life. It all started with some digestive issues a little over 2 weeks ago, then progressed to a tenacious fever and aches and chills and abdominal pain a little over 1 week ago. Then last Tuesday I had a CT scan of my abdomen which revealed that my colon is inflamed (something I didn't even know the colon could be). I started a couple of antibiotics and a pain medication, and here it is almost a week later, and I am still sick. I have made improvements for sure, but I have spent most of the past week feeling as though I were on death's door. No energy. No appetite. No strength. Stephen has practically been a single parent the past week, and I am grateful to my parents for watching Charlotte over the weekend so he could get a break. He has been an amazing source of support through this. I don't know what I would do without him.

It's hard to believe that I can go from running 4 miles one day to feeling as though I'll never run again, but that's currently how I feel. I have an appointment with a GI specialist on November 7, and I am hoping to  have more answers after that appointment. One of the doctors thinks I might have Crohn's, which I am praying is not true, but we will have to wait and see.

Anyway, I felt like I needed to explain why the blog has been so silent. Please pray for me and my family, as this has been quite a challenge. I am finding comfort in God's sovereignty and know that He will work through this situation for His glory.

Five Minute Friday: Look

 

I haven't participated in Five Minute Friday for a while, but this week's word immediately grabbed me. In case you don't know, Five Minute Friday is hosted by Lisa-Jo Baker, and all you do is take 5 minutes and write on the word of the week. Five minutes-no editing, no second-guessing. Just writing. Here's my five minutes on this week's word: look.  

* * * *

As I drove home from work for lunch just minutes ago, my mind was in a fog. It’s been a hard week. I haven’t felt well or slept all that well, and I have thoughts weighing me down, threatening to steal my joy. I have prayed more than once that the Lord would show Himself to me, that I would know He is here with me. 

With my attention minimally focused on the road, the landmarks passed by in a blur. I rounded a bend in the road, and then all of a sudden my vision was confronted with a shock of red, yellow, and orange in vibrant display, tucked in the midst of green. The beauty of it caused me to inhale sharply, and I wanted to stop my car and look, just feast my eyes on the splendor that I wasn’t even looking for but that had found me. I let the image of those autumnal hues dance before my eyes long after I had left the real thing behind, and it brought a smile to my lips and prayer of gratitude from my heart.

It’s almost as though the Lord was reaching down to whisper in my ear and saying, “Keep looking, dear one. Sometimes joy is right around the corner.”

May the Lord grant me vision that allows me to truly see Him, to truly know Him. Always.

Weigh-In Wednesday: Keeping It Real

Whose idea was it for me to post my weight every week? I mean really, that person is crazy.

Oh wait, that was me, wasn't it? Rats.

Anyway, I really didn't want to post this today, and I could have chosen not to, but I strive to be honest on this blog, and it would be dishonest of me to pretend that this week didn't happen, so here you go.

Last week's weight: 170.6

This week's weight: 170.8

GAIN of .2 pounds

Basically, I'm in the same place I was 2 weeks ago. I'm kind of frustrated by it, but in reflecting over the past week, I don't think I really earned a loss. I ate fast food on four different occasions, and while I logged 2 hours of exercise, I guess it wasn't enough. You really can't out-exercise poor food choices, friends, and I'm living proof. (So glad I can be a living weight loss experiment for the rest of you!) HOWEVER, if I look at my stats on Weight Watchers, I should have lost weight this week. I had 22 weekly points remaining at the end of the week, and I earned 21 activity points, so it's not like I went insanely over my points allowance. Plus, yesterday the scale said 170, so I was really hoping that I'd be a little bit lighter today so I could FINALLY be in the 160s. Alas, it was not to be this week.

Sometimes, the scale doesn't reflect the effort that was put forth. Sometimes it does. But the fact is, before I weighed myself this morning, I felt good. I was proud of the fact that I'd achieved a new  personal record in running this weekend, and I was proud that I had run 4 miles Tuesday night, something I haven't done since May. I was proud for choosing not to "eat my feelings" on more than one occasion. So why should stepping on a scale take away that pride and take away what I have accomplished? 

It shouldn't, so I'm trying my hardest not to let it.

Charlotte at 19 Months

Let's ignore the fact that Charlotte turned 19 months over a week ago, shall we? On most days, Charlotte is a little whirlwind, zipping about from place to place, usually with a smile on her a face. She constantly wants to explore and roam around and is rarely content to simply sit still, unless she is coloring or playing with stickers. Then, she'll sit for a few minutes before moving on to the next activity.

Until the last month or so, Charlotte really wasn't a big fan of books. When she was much, much younger, I would read to her every day, and while she was too young to show her enjoyment, she at least didn't put up a fuss. However, as she got more mobile, she grew less fond of sitting still for a story, and before long she would just push books away if we tried to read to her, which broke this poor book-loving mama's heart! I'm not sure what changed, but now she will latch on to a certain book and become obsessed with it, wanting to look at it over and over again. She especially loves to look at pictures of animals and can now imitate the sounds that dogs, cats, cows, and ducks make.

Charlotte started walking right around her first birthday, and she gets faster and faster on those little feet every day, it seems. I wouldn't be surprised if she broke out into a full-fledged run soon. She also has become quite the climber, surprising me one day by climbing right up into her high chair without assistance. She now practices this skill on a daily basis and beams proudly when she is seated in the chair.

It's blurry, but she was so proud to be climbing up in her chair.

Along with climbing, she also is fixated on buckles right now and spends a lot of time trying to buckle the harness on her high chair and her little toddler rocker. She has learned how to buckle these things but can't get them unbuckled, so she gets really frustrated when she can't unfasten things. In general, she gets really frustrated when she can't figure something out and in her frustration will sometimes just throw down whatever it is she's working on. I hope she'll learn to keep on trying something instead of giving up so quickly. 

She is definitely all toddler, as she can go from laughing to crying in about two seconds flat. The smallest things can set her off. For example, this morning I had her try on the winter coat I bought for her, and she loved it. What she didn't love was me taking it off, and she started screaming and crying and was inconsolable for several minutes, right about when it was time to leave for daycare, of course. It is challenging when she starts throwing a tantrum, and we're not sure yet what the best response is, but we mostly ignore her or try and hold her and get her to calm down.


Charlotte's vocabulary is growing, and her favorite word right now is our dog's name, Bailey. She will say her name over and over again, and she loves to follow Bailey around and gets excited when she sees her. Sometimes in the morning when she first wakes up she's more excited to see Bailey than she is us, which we try not to be offended by.

Never one to turn down food, Char has a healthy appetite and loves to snack on fruits and puffs and graham crackers. Her favorite foods right now are bananas, waffles, and crackers of any kind.

Mmm, spaghetti!

For some reason, however, she has gone a vegetable strike. She used to eat vegetables like a champ, but the past few months she has decided she doesn't like them. We'll try to get her to eat them, but she just shakes her head no and swats them away. She will eat them if they're pureed, but it seems kind of crazy to keep giving her purees when she's 19 months old! Still, we do give her veggies that way a few times a week just so she's getting some, but that's not a long term solution. She's too young to really reason with, so I'm not sure what to do. Any suggestions on how to get her to eat more vegetables?

Here are a few more pictures of my sweet girl. She makes us so happy and proud, and I can't wait to see the girl she becomes!

 

Race Report: Delta Dash 5k

Saturday I ran the Delta Dash 5k, and it was truly a race like no other. It all started when my husband woke me up Saturday morning and said, "It's 8:30." I said, "What?" in complete confusion because I knew there was no way we had slept that late on a Saturday, or that CHARLOTTE had slept that late on a Saturday. But yes, when I checked the clock, it was indeed 8:30 a.m.

This was a problem. Why? The Delta Dash 5k started at 9 a.m. I had approximately 10 minutes to get ready and leave the house. I debated not going, and was close to just skipping the race, but I decided to just go for it since I'd already paid for it. I didn't have time to get nervous--only time to change clothes, put up my hair, brush my teeth, and grab some water before heading out the door.

As I drove to the race, I kept thinking to myself that I was crazy for attempting to run this race. I hadn't really hydrated properly the day before and didn't feel the greatest; I had only been up for a grand total of 15 minutes so I hadn't had time to eat anything or even drink anything; and I was mentally unprepared. I always liked arriving at a race about 30 minutes before start, this time I got there just in time to register, throw my shirt in the car, and then head to the start line with the rest of the runners. As I waited for the race to start, I thought briefly to myself, "Wouldn't it be funny if I got a new PR (personal record) at this race?" However, I hadn't brought my Garmin since it wasn't charged, so I wouldn't be able to monitor my pace as closely as I normally like to unless I held my iPhone and watched the RunKeeper app the whole race. I had no plans to do any such thing, so I had to run by feel, something I haven't done since I got my Garmin for my birthday last October. I told myself to focus on enjoying the race and finishing in a respectable time, and before I had time to think much else, the race started!

The course was virtually identical to the one I ran in my least favorite 5k ever, back in May, but I enjoyed the run so much more this time around. I have no idea what the temperature was, but I would guess it was in the low 60s, and it felt humid to me, but I didn't mind it. I just listened to my music and ran, smiling every now and then at the fact that I was even running this race. I hit the mile 1 marker right after 10 minutes, which made me happy, and I told myself if I could just maintain that pace, I could get a new PR. I don't know if it was because I had been running more frequently and with more intensity recently or because I hadn't had time to mentally psyche myself out, but the whole run felt surprisingly easy to me.I hit 2 miles in exactly 20 minutes, and then I started to think that a new PR wasn't so out of the realm of possibility, and then I even let myself dream that I could realize my BIG goal of running a sub-30 5k. I pushed myself to run a little faster, and as I got closer and closer to the end, my mind was spinning like crazy, wondering if I would beat the PR I had just set last month. In a way, the race was more fun without my Garmin because I couldn't look at my pace every 2 seconds. Finally, I was nearing the end and made the entrance into the back of the stadium and rounded the bases to approach home plate, where the finish line was. As I got closer, I caught a glimpse of the time clock, and I felt as though my heart almost skipped a beat when I saw that it said 29:??. I was SO CLOSE to getting in under 30 minutes. I summoned every last ounce of energy I had, not knowing if it would be enough to get me there on time but knowing that I had to try. My legs pumped faster and faster, the finish line got closer and closer, the seconds kept ticking by...

...until finally I crossed the finish at 30:04! I allowed myself to be briefly disappointed that I had come so ridiculously close to meeting my ultimate race goal, but then I had an internal party at the fact that I had beaten my previous PR by over 2 minutes, within a span of 4 weeks!

After the race I talked briefly with one of my favorite former professors, who was running his 2nd ever 5k, and I decided to hang around for the awards ceremony, on the off chance that I had placed in my age group. It was a small race, and I was really proud of my time, so I thought it was moderately likely that I had placed.

It seemed to take forever before they started handing out medals, but finally it was time. They started with the female age categories, and I was surprised to see that there was only 1 person in more than one of the age categories. I thought to myself that it would be HILARIOUS if I placed as the only person in my age group, but I also wanted a more "legitimate" placement, if that makes sense. I was in the 30-34 age group, and they announced the 3rd place finisher first. Wasn't me. "Oh well," I thought, "maybe next time." Then I heard: "In second place, Erin Mount." Without even thinking, I blurted out, "That's me!" and practically skipped to get my medal. Even a day later I still can't believe that I placed 2nd in my age group! Granted, it was a small race and for all I know there were only 3 people in my age group, but STILL! I got a medal! (And I felt like I had actually earned that medal, instead of the time I placed in a race with my worst-ever 5k time.)

Hands down, best race ever. :)

Weigh-in Wednesday: The Vacation Edition

Let's cut to the chase, shall we?

Last week's weight: 170.8
This week's weight: 170.6
LOSS of .2 lbs

Y'all, this is kind of a miracle. It was really hard to track accurately and completely when we were out of town, and I KNOW I went over my points almost every day. I don't know by how much, but I'm sure it was a decent amount. We got back on Sunday night, and when I weighed myself on Monday (even though I really didn't want to), I was up 2.4 pounds from last week's weight. At that point, I had very little hope of seeing a loss for the week, but I was on my best behavior Monday and Tuesday, and I guess it helped! I am so relieved not to see a gain that I don't even care that the loss is extremely minimal. I just want to get out of the 170s!

I am telling you, next week I WILL be in the 160s, or I'll shave my head.

Or not.

But I WILL be in the 160s!

Visit with the Grandparents

Stephen and I  both took off work last Thursday and Friday so we could drive up to Illinois and spend the long weekend visiting his parents. His parents have been to see us several times this year, but the last time we went to see them was last Thanksgiving, so a visit was long overdue! We left on Wednesday night in the hopes that Charlotte would sleep the whole way there. Instead, she only slept 1 of the 4 hours we were in the car. Fortunately for all involved, she was delightful while she was awake, just giggling and smiling and chatting the whole time. It was really cute and fun.

I won't bore you with a play-by-play of the weekend's events but instead will share some pictures!

Checking out the entrance to the "maze," which was actually just one rectangular path.

With Grandma and Grandpa

This was my attempt to get a picture taken with Char.

At least it's easy to get a picture with Stephen. :)

This will totally be our Christmas card picture.

"Feed me!"

 

Fun at the buffet. Straws are awesome.

With Stephen's grandmother, Charlotte (Charlotte's namesake!)

This is the best pic we could get with both Charlottes.

Places to go, purses to carry.

Classic Char

 We had a great time on our trip. Charlotte slept past 7:30 pretty much every day, so we must have worn her out! It was such a nice, relaxing time, and I'm so glad we got to go. I'm looking forward to visiting again at Christmas.

How was your weekend?

Weigh-In Wednesday: So Close

First let me thank all of you who commented on my last post! I truly loved hearing from each of you and will be checking out the blogs of those I haven't visited before. I appreciate all of my readers, and I am glad you took the time to comment. It's not to late to comment, so if you're a lurker who's being shy, come out from hiding! :)

Today marks the beginning of my 3rd week on Weight Watchers. Y'all, week 2 was TOUGH stuff. I went over my daily points allowance every day but one. Fortunately, the plan also gives me 49 "extra" points to use throughout the week, and supposedly I can still lose weight even if I use those points. I ended up using 23 of those extra points this past week, whereas the week before that I only used 15. I was concerned about how this would affect the scale, but one thing made me feel better: activity points. Every time I exercise, I get points for that activity. The points are determined by what kind of exercise it is (walking or running, etc.) and how long I exercise for. For example, I get 2 activity points if I walk for 30 minutes, but I get 6 activity points if I run for 30 minutes. I can then choose to "eat" those extra points if I want. Obviously, this motivates me to exercise more and more specifically, it motivates me to run more since I get so many more points for that. I ended up with 30 points for the week, enough to make up for the extra points I ate and then some.

Now, the moment you've all been waiting for: my weigh-in.

Last week's weight: 172.6

This week's weight: 170.8

Total lost: 1.8 lbs

Definitely not as amazing as last week's weight loss, but I am still very happy with how I did. I think the exercise really helped. With that loss, I've now lost 5 pounds in the last two weeks, which is a great loss for me! Yippee!

The only downside? With this weight loss, Weight Watchers changed my daily points target to 27 from 28, which means I am going to have to be even more careful with what I eat. To be honest, I have been hungry a LOT these past 2 weeks. I need to work on using fruits and veggies as snacks so I don't feel so hungry all the time. I certainly don't think it's a bad thing to be hungry every now and then, but I don't want to feel that way all the time because that just means I'll eventually get frustrated and eat two Big Macs and a large order of fries (not really, but you know what I mean). 

Week 3 will be a challenge for me since we're going out of town to visit Stephen's parents, so tracking will be harder. I am going to work at being diligent with tracking what I can and make wise decisions. I am so close to the 160s, so I don't want to blow it this week.

I hope you all have a great week!

This One's For the Lurkers

I have a feeling there are people who read my blog and never comment. (I'm hoping this is true, since if the only people reading are the ones who comment, I have about 10 readers.) So if you've been reading my blog for any length of time but haven't commented, I want to hear from you! De-lurk and introduce yourself, and if you wouldn't mind, answer a few questions for me:

1. How long have you been reading my blog?
2. How did you find my blog?
3. What would you like me to write about on my blog?
4. Do you have a blog? Link to it!

And if any of you faithful comments would like to answer these questions (especially #3 and #4), feel free! I'd love to hear how people have stumbled onto this corner of the Internet.

Let the de-lurking commence!

Weigh-in Wednesday: A New Direction

I didn't intend to go over a week without blogging, but looks like I did! I'm back and have some exciting news. Well, exciting for me, that is. Most of you probably couldn't care less, but I'm sharing it anyway. :)

Last Tuesday, I signed up for Weight Watchers Online. It's something I'd been thinking about for a while, and with the encouragement of my husband and some great feedback I got about the program, I decided to take the plunge. I vacillated between going to meetings or doing the program online, but since it's a lot more expensive to go to meetings, I decided to try the online program for 3 months and then reassess after that.

I officially started the program last Wednesday, and it was a tough week. Counting points instead of calories has required a huge mental shift for me. I generally know the calorie amounts for most foods that I eat, but I had no idea how many points those same foods are, so Weight Watchers has required me to plan ahead and do research about what foods are the best to eat and what are to avoid.  A really neat thing about the plan is that most fruits and veggies don't have any points, which encourages me to eat those things more since they don't count toward my daily points allotment (which is 28, for those who are curious).

So, how did I fare on the scale my first week?

Last week's weight: 175.8

This week's weight: 172.6

Total lost: 3.2 lbs

I'm very happy with that number! I have had some MONTHS where I haven't even lost 3 pounds, so to lose that in one week is exciting for me and gives me hope for the weeks ahead. I know it's common to lose more in the first few weeks of the program, but I have shown myself that I am capable of following the program. I know not every week will be like this one, but I know that if I keep trying, I will keep seeing results. 

Are any of you on Weight Watchers, or have you tried it in the past? I'd love to hear from you!

Race Report: Knight Run 5k

That's right, I had a race this weekend! I didn't mention it because I was nervous about it and wasn't even sure I would blog about it. The truth is, my running has been rather lackluster over the summer, and I haven't run more than 4 miles at one time since my half-marathon (which was March 31). The heat of summer took all desire to run right out of me, and I used that as an excuse to slack off. Still, I've managed to run 2-3 times a week, even if it's only 2 miles at a time, and I decided I needed to sign up for a race to get me back in the running groove. I picked the Knight Run 5k because it was at night, and I've never run a race at night, and one of my all-time favorite former professors was going to be playing in the band that provided the post-race entertainment. It was too good to pass up.

The race was scheduled to start at 6:30, so I got there around 6:00. Stephen and I debated bringing Charlotte out to the race, but since her bedtime is at 6:30, we didn't want to risk a meltdown, so I went to the race solo. I checked in, got my shirt, took it to my car, realized I didn't get gum (gum is a MUST for me when running), so then I went back to my car, got gum, then went to the bathroom. Good thing I got there early! I ended up running into a former student of mine from Union, and at first she didn't recognize me because I was a lot heavier when I taught her. We chatted until time for the race to start, and I was so glad I ran into her so I didn't have to stand around by myself. I was especially glad for the company given the fact that this race had a disproportionate amount of teenagers. This shouldn't have surprised me since the race was a fundraiser for a private high school, but I still felt old. It was drizzling a bit before the race, and I kind of hoped it would continue because the rain had a cooling effect.

Once 6:30 came, everyone gathered around the starting line, and we were off! I let lots of racers pass me and try to settle into a good rhythm. Going into the race I hoped to get a PR, but I also told myself that it was highly unlikely given my sporadic, unfocused running of late. Instead, I wanted to focus on simply enjoying the experience. (Of course, this didn't stop me from wearing my Garmin so I could obsessively monitor my pace, and it also didn't stop me from setting the RunKeeper app goal pace at 10:30/mile.) It wasn't 4 minutes into the race before I felt like I was struggling. The rain had died down at that point, and in its place was incredibly muggy weather. I had a hard time getting a good breath, so I slowed up a little. I eventually found my pace and focused on staying relatively consistent with it.

The race itself is kind of a blur. I checked my Garmin approximately 1,281 times, and my pace was all over the place in the first mile but then hovered around the 10:30-10:50 mile mark for a while. My hope for a PR remained, but even though the course was pretty flat, the entire run felt hard to me. I did a poor job of hydrating that day, so I was thirsty the whole time, and the only water station was before the end of the first mile. (I've never been to a race with only 1 water station!) I kept a running mental pep talk going, telling myself that I could stop to walk, but ONLY for 30 seconds. I did this at some point, and I think it really did help me pick up the pace after that.

There were no mile markers on the course, and I didn't hear my Garmin alarm for any of the miles, so I wasn't entirely sure if I was on track to beat my best 5k race time of 33:12. But as I looked down at my Garmin and saw 2.9 miles and saw the end of the course ahead, I had hope. I broke into an all out sprint, and I'm sure the older gentleman I passed mere feet from the finish didn't appreciate it, but I could see the time clock, and I had to get past that finish line. I kept my eyes fixed on that clock, and I crossed the finish at 32:09, a new personal record! I beat my previous PR by over a minute! I was ecstatic.

The interesting thing about this race is that according to my Garmin, I only ran 3.02 miles. If you'll recall, at my last 5k I ended up running MORE than a 5k (my Garmin said 3.37 miles), and this time I ended up running LESS. I've decided to put it out of my mind, though, because if I hadn't had my Garmin, I would just assume that I had completed a full 5k.

I'm so happy I decided to run this race and so happy that after more than TWO YEARS, I finally have a new PR! I also placed third in my age group. Out of four runners. Ha.

Smiling in victory

Here's my 5k playlist, for those interested. I didn't make it through all the songs since my pessimistic self planned for 41 minutes of race time. :)

1.  "Take My Hand" by Shawn McDonald
2.  "Spotlight" by MUTEMATH
3.  "Me Without You" by TobyMac
4.  "Savannah" by Relient K
5.  "God Is Enough" by Lecrae
6.  "Eye On It" by TobyMac
7.  "Hurts Like Heaven" by Coldplay
8.  "Princess of China" by Coldplay
9.  "Walking on Water" by Lecrae
10. "Lose Myself" by TobyMac
11. "Sahara" by Relient K

Five Minute Friday: Out of Focus

I'm linking up with Lisa-Jo's Five Minute Friday, and I couldn't have picked a better word to lead me to some important realizations. This week's word: focus.

* * * * *

I am terribly nearsighted. Yesterday I had my yearly eye exam and had to wait a few minutes, without my contacts in, in the exam room before the doctor came to examine my eyes. The letters on the wall were a complete blur, but when I held my phone up, everything was in perfect focus. If I hadn’t seen the fuzzy letters on the wall, I wouldn’t even know by looking at my phone that anything was wrong. As far as I could tell close up, my vision was perfect. 

But like so many things in life, my vision is far from perfect. The same goes for my focus. After my post on Tuesday, I’ve done a lot of thinking, and I think the realization I’ve come to is that I’m incredibly self-absorbed. It’s no surprise that I am tired of thinking about weight loss and food because both of those things? They’re all about me.

If you look in the Bible, you won’t find any verses that talk about spending all of your time thinking about yourself. You won’t find any that exhort the reader to spend countless hours devoted to personal neuroses. What you will find are verses that urge followers of Christ (of which I am one, though ever so poor an example) to be joyful always, to pray continually, to give thanks in all circumstances, to think of others as higher than themselves, to seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, to love their neighbors as themselves. I look in God’s love letter to me and am reminded to count everything as loss except the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. When I think on these things, when I live a life that radiates these truths, what room is left over for thoughts of me? None whatsoever. And that is just how it should be.

What I am coming to realize is that my view of Christ has become blurry because my view of myself remains in constant focus.

Turns out I am nearsighted in more ways than one.

* * * * *

 
I invite you to join in the challenge of writing for just five minutes this Friday. Who knows what will come of it?