April Goals in Review

Earlier this month, I set 5 goals for April. Then I proceeded to try to follow them without actually keeping track of my progress. Just so you know, I wouldn't recommend this particular approach because then you reach the end of the month and realize that you can't accurately report to your hundreds tens of followers how you did. Alas, that is precisely the approach I took. However, despite my lack of true goal tracking, I'll give you a loose update on how I did with my goals.

1. Go to bed by 10 p.m. I know I stayed up past 10:00 every Friday in April, but I did make a concerted effort to go to bed earlier. Still, I'd guess I stayed up past 10 p.m. an average of about 2 times per week. It helped that I am so stinkin' tired all the time, so I had extra motivation to go to bed earlier.

2.  Read Seeking God's Face every day. Honestly, this is the one goal I thought I would do really well at, and I probably did the worst at keeping it! I don't know how many days I missed, but it was at least 10 over the course of the month, which I'm not at all proud of. I am determined to do better at spending time with the Lord consistently. I have no excuse not to, and I need that time to keep me from getting all lost inside my crazy head.

3. Exercise 3 times a week.  I met this goal one week. I didn't exercise at all last week, but I blame strep throat for that. I exercised twice a week the other two weeks.

4. No eating after 8 p.m. I did really well with this goal, except for on Friday nights, once again. Apparently I like to throw discipline out the window on Friday nights.

5. Blog 3 times a week. I did not do this every week, but I definitely blogged at least twice a week, which, sad to say, is good for me. After all, I only blogged 5 times TOTAL in both January and February!

All in all, it wasn't an especially successful month, but I am glad that I set these goals, and it definitely helped me to have them in the back of my mind. Though I didn't do a great job of tracking them, I did remember each of them, and I know I would have been even less disciplined had I not made them. I am planning to make more goals in May, so stay tuned!

How did you do with your goals in April?

Music for Your Monday: "Eye on It" by Tobymac

Let's pretend that I'm still running, shall we? If I were still running and had an upcoming race, this week's Music for Your Monday song would definitely make my playlist. "Eye on It" by TobyMac is the perfect running song: infectious, with a steady, uptempo beat. I like to think it helped me achieve my 5k PR back in October. If you run or do other exercise, what songs help motivate you?

Motherhood: It's Not a Competition

I was listening to a podcast this morning, a conversation between two bloggers I happen to admire and respect, and all of a sudden I was blindsided by this remark: “Going to work is like taking a vacation.” I don’t think I could have felt more shocked had this blogger smacked me across the face, so wounded did I feel at that comment. The blogger was talking about the challenges of being a mom and staying at home with the kids all day, and I believe her comment was directed towards the men who “get” to go to work and have adult conversations and go to the bathroom unattended by their children and eat meals that are still warm. Given all that, she said, working is like a vacation compared to the constant demands of children all day long. To be fair, I don't think this blogger meant anything harmful by the comment, and it was not even a main part of the conversation. Perhaps I am being overly sensitive, and perhaps had I heard this comment on another day, I would have laughed about it. 

I get what she said, I really do. I know that being a stay at home mom is HARD. I have many friends who are SAHMs (in fact the majority of my friends are SAHMs), and I have seen their weary faces after a day of kids who didn’t nap. It’s hard, and I have so much admiration for SAHMs.

Here’s what wounded me about the comment this blogger made: it implied that somehow being a working mom isn’t hard. That I “get” to go to work every day and forget about my kid and have a carefree, blissful existence until 5:00 p.m. rolls around. That I don’t have to deal with cleaning up messes all day long and chasing after a toddler and fighting nap time and trying to cajole a stubborn toddler into eating a vegetable or two. That I have the easy life.

And it’s true: I don’t have to chase around my toddler all day long. Instead, I “get” to drop her off at daycare, where she’ll spend the majority of her day away from me. She’ll live 40+ hours of her week outside of my presence, and that is hard. Even though Charlotte is over 2 years old, some days I can barely breathe for how much I miss her. In exchange for this, I “get” to go to work and deal with stress and deadlines and demanding clients and errands and piles of paper, day after day. I “get” to let someone else have fun with my kid, get hugs from my kid, watch my kid learn and grow and develop.  Then when I get done with my “vacation,” my day in some ways just begins. I pick up my daughter, I take her home and try to find something she won’t immediately reject as dinner, I bathe her, wrestle her into her pajamas with my sweet husband’s help, and convince her that bedtime is not the end of the world. Then there is dinner to make, a house to straighten, a floor that ALWAYS needs to be cleaned, etc. Just like that mom that stays home all day with her kids and tries to come up with yet another craft to make on a rainy day, I too am tired at the end of the day.  I too just want a break. 

Being a working mom is not my first choice, but it is what has to be right now, and I am thankful that I have a job that helps me contribute to our family. But even if working outside the home were my first choice, that doesn’t mean that I would be exempt from struggling as a mother. The truth is, NO mom has the easy life. Whether a mom works outside of the home or works in the home, being a mom is one of the hardest jobs in the world (and so, for that matter, is being a dad). Can we all just agree on that and stop with the judgments, stop with the assumption that the “other side” (whomever that may include) has it easier? Can we remember, to borrow from High School Musical (which I promise never to do again), that we're all in this together? 

Let’s go out for some ice cream, share a hug, and laugh until we can’t breathe. That is just the kind of vacation I need.

Trying to Stay Positive

Yesterday I had one of the best days I've had in a long time in regards to my ulcerative colitis.

Today I woke up with a fever and a sore throat, and after a trip to the doctor, I found out I have strep throat.

You win some, you lose some, right? :)

"So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal." 2 Corinthians 4:16-18

Music for Your Monday: "Ho Hey" by The Lumineers

My first two songs were more serious in nature, so I thought this Monday I would share a song that just makes me happy. I hope you enjoy!



What songs are you loving right now?

A Matter of Perspective

Have you all seen the new Dove ad campaign? If not, here's the video (I highly recommend watching it):



I actually teared up the first time I saw this video. You can see how the faces of the women change as they look at the two portraits side by side. You can see the women realize how their view of themselves is vastly different from that of an outsider. What a powerful example of how distorted our image of ourselves is! I am sure had I been apart of this experiment, I would have described myself in far more negative terms than a stranger would have. I have struggled for years with seeing myself in a negative light, and of course I realize that it has affected how I carry myself and how I interact with others and even how I let others into my world, but this video led me to examine my perspective once again.

As I watched it a second time, I kept thinking about how I want Charlotte to grow up with a healthy body image, how I want her to be carefree and unencumbered by concerns of what others think of her. My daughter is beautiful, and there are few things that light up my soul like seeing her beaming face looking at mine, and I want her to always have that joy. I have no idea how to ensure that those hopes become reality. I can't pinpoint the exact moment in my own history when I decided I wasn't pretty, but I pray that that moment never comes for Charlotte.

I know that I am going to pray regularly that God will help me protect the heart of my sweet girl, and I will pray that He will give me the wisdom needed to guide her as she grows older. And I will pray that she knows the truth that she is beautiful and beloved by the King, regardless of what the mirror may tell her.

Music for Your Monday: "Liberty" by Shane & Shane

This week's installment of Music for Your Monday features another one of my favorite songs. I could listen to "Liberty" by Shane & Shane over and over again. The song takes its inspiration straight from Galatians 5:1, one of my favorite verses, which says, "For freedom Christ has set us free; stand firm therefore, and do not submit again to a yoke of slavery." I need the reminder that I have been set free on a daily basis, and this song is just a gorgeous representation of that biblical truth. There are lot of layers to the song, and Shane & Shane have excellent vocal harmonies. I hope you enjoy it! 

Grasping at Gratitude

Today has not been a good day. It hasn't been a good week, truthfully, which is why I haven't blogged much. I am physically tired, emotionally tired, spiritually tired. I am not feeling the greatest with my ulcerative colitis (and am currently waiting on a callback from my GI doctor about other treatment options), and it's been very tempting for me to throw myself a pity party. In fact, earlier today I started drafting a post in my head about how hard living with ulcerative colitis has been and how I'm an emotional train wreck blah, blah, blah, but I'm not going to write that post now. The truth is, it is hard, but it's not the hardest thing. The way my condition is right now is bearable. I'd love for it to go away. I'd love to be healed, but I can endure how I feel right now. I'm just being a big wimp.

The hardest thing is for me to remain grateful. As I have written before, I am prone to negativity, and if I am not careful, I can easily drown in the cesspool of lies in my head. So the hardest thing for me is to remember that while I have Christ, I have all I need. TRULY, all I need. He is my portion and the strength of my heart forever (Psalm 73:26). He has given me everything I need for life and godliness (1 Peter 1:3). Though I may feel as though my outer self is wasting away (and let's face it, at 170 pounds, I'm not wasting away), He is renewing me day by day (2 Corinthians 4:16).

So, while at times everything in me wants to cry and moan, I can rejoice instead. I can rejoice that the struggle I am facing is temporary. I can rejoice that one day there will be no more sickness, no more death, no more fear, no more sadness. I can rejoice that I have a Heavenly Father who is intimately acquainted with me and my sorrows and joys, for He made me, fearfully and wonderfully (Psalm 139). I can rejoice that Christ suffered more than I can ever imagine so that one day all who love Him will suffer no more. I can rejoice that I do not have to bear my burdens alone but that Jesus invites me to take up HIS burden, which is easy and light (Matthew 11:29). I can rejoice that I have a loving and supporting husband who lets me sob into his shoulder. I can rejoice that I have an understanding boss who lets me leave work in the middle of the day because I just can't stay any longer. I can rejoice that I have friends who pray for me and make me laugh and distract me from the things that are weighing me down.

I don't know what God's plans for me and ulcerative colitis are. I don't know if I will find a medication that will work. I don't know if He will heal me. What I do know is that He loves me and is with me, and I need His presence so much more than I need to be healed. The good news is, He never sleeps and is always available, so I can say with the Psalmist, "The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want."

Music for Your Monday: "Your Great Name" by Natalie Grant

Music for Your Monday is a new blog series I'm starting that will allow me to share with you some songs that I am enjoying. The first one is my current favorite song, and if you are my friend on Facebook or Instagram, you've already seen me post about it. I don't know a lot of Natalie Grant's music, but I want to now, after hearing this song. I absolutely love the lyrics, especially "Every fear has no place, at the sound of Your great name/The enemy, he has to leave, at the sound of Your great name." I have been listening to this song on repeat in my car and have just let my heart soak up the truth in the words. I hope you like it and are encouraged by it as well!



Here are the lyrics:

Verse 1:  
Lost are saved, find their way, at the sound of Your great name.
All condemned feel no shame, at the sound of Your great name.
Every fear has no place, at the sound of Your great name.
The enemy, he has to leave, at the sound of Your great name.
 
Chorus: 
Jesus, Worthy is the Lamb that was slain for us, 
Son of God and Man You are high and lifted up,
And all the world will praise your great name.
 
Verse 2: 
All the weak find their strength, at the sound of Your great name.
Hungry souls receive grace, at the sound of Your great name. 

The fatherless, they find their rest, at the sound of Your great name. 

Sick are healed, and the dead are raised, at the sound of Your great name.
 

Bridge:  
Redeemer, My Healer, Lord Almighty  
My savior, Defender, You are My King

What songs are you loving right now?

Ready, Set, Goals!

Remember when I used to make goals every month and oh, I don't know, actually attempt to accomplish something? Yeah, I hardly remember it either because it's been so long since I did that. However, I have decided that this month will be different. I'm tired of going to bed every night and feeling like a failure because I still haven't _______. The only way to remedy that is to make solid, achievable goals and then work at them. With that said, here are my goals for April:

1. Go to bed by 10 p.m. This is tough for me because I am a night owl by nature, and the late evening hours are one of the few times I can actually have to myself. I have realized, though, that staying up late makes it harder for me to get up in the morning, which means I sleep later than I should and end up feeling frazzled and grumpy and out of sorts because I didn't start my day with God. Which brings me to my next goal...

2. Read Seeking God's Face every day. My friend Kim (who also recommended the Scripture memory trick I mentioned Monday-clearly she is my spiritual guru) told me about this book, and it is revolutionizing my Bible study and prayer time. It is essentially a prayer book that is based on the Church calendar, and each day has selected Scripture passages, suggested prayer points, and prayers excerpted from historic Church documents like the Heidelberg and Westminster Catechisms. I like it because it allows me to focus in on a specific passage of Scripture while also meditating on that passage and praying through it. I can't recommend it enough, so check it out!

3. Exercise 3 times a week. Full disclosure: I am counting as little as 10 minutes as satisfying this goal because I have been so fatigued recently that some days that may be all I can handle. I exercised very sporadically in March, and I do love a good cardio session, so I am hoping I can make this work.

4. No eating after 8 p.m. Let's face it: nothing healthy gets eaten after 8:00 p.m. And by that point I have already eaten more than enough calories for the day, so there's no excuse in letting late-night munchies get the best of me. I developed this nighttime habit when I was still taking Prednisone (a steroid that made me feel ravenous), but now that I am off that medication, my hunger has not been nearly as insatiable.

5. Blog 3 times a week. I really enjoy blogging, but you wouldn't necessarily know that from the scarcity of my posts. It's a nice hobby for me, and I want to be more consistent, so I am going to aim for 3 times.

Those are my goals for the month. I think they are all measurable and achievable. I wasn't going to blog about them but then decided that I would appreciate the accountability, so here they are. I will report back at the end of the month, if not weekly, about my progress.

I would encourage you to sit down and think about some measurable goals you can make for yourself this month. If you already have some, share them with me!

Hide His Word

"I have hidden your Word in my heart, that I might not sin against you." Psalm 119:11

When I was in high school and college, I loved to memorize Scripture. It was practically a hobby, I did it so much. I put index cards up in my room and in the car and would give myself pop quizzes regularly. I loved being able to call a verse to mind at just the right time of need. Over the years, however, I let this discipline all but disappear from my life, and I have really wanted to change that. I was talking to two friends recently about my lack of discipline in general but also the desire I had to begin intentionally memorizing more Scripture, and one of them shared what I have decided is the best trick ever. Are you ready for it? Here's a hint:

My current passages: Micah 7:7-8 and Romans 12:1-2

That's right, just put the verses you want to memorize in a Ziploc bag, and you're good to go!

Okay, so there's a little more to it than that. :) The key is to take the Ziploc bag and tape it up on the wall of your shower. Then every morning when you are doing something you have to do anyway, you can review the verses. I was able to memorize 4 different Scripture passages last month, and I haven't done that in a long time. I am loving this new "system" and will definitely keep doing it. When I have memorized my verses for the week, I transfer those cards to the bathroom mirror and put new ones in their place. That way I can review the older verses while I am putting on my makeup or brushing my teeth and learn the newer ones while I am in the shower.  I am so thankful to my friend Kim for sharing this trick with me. I wish I had thought of it myself. ;)

Do you have any tried-and-true Scripture memory tricks?