Research paper time. I receive papers from my students today, so blogging will be slim to none for a while. I have a lot on my mind but no time to devote to sharing all of it with you. So for now, a brief update.
1. If you're not friends with me on facebook (shame on you!), then you wouldn't know that I had a job interview yesterday for a position teaching middle school reading at a local private school. I think I would do an amazing job, and here's hoping the interview committee agrees! We shall see.
2. I cannot keep nail polish from chipping, no matter what I do. I painted my nails the night before the interview (because nothing says successful and intelligent like a good manicure), and they were chipped by yesterday afternoon! I can put on a base and top coat and still, the chipping! Does anyone have any suggestions? Thank you for your help with this extremely important matter.
3. I have now lost 68 pounds. I still don't think I comprehend how much weight that actually is. According to some weight loss comparison chart I saw on SparkPeople, I'm 2 pounds away from losing an Irish Setter. Cool.
4. I successfully ran 2.9 miles in 33:15 on Monday! I shaved about a minute off my previous mile pace. I am still nervous about next Saturday, the big race day, however, because there are supposed to be "rolling hills" and I have trained primarily on flat land.
5. Today's run was not so great. I keep getting cramps in my right side when running. Does this happen to anyone else, and if so, what do you do about it? Today it was so intense I stopped running after about 1.7 miles. I am going to try for the 2.9 miles again tomorrow.
6. I have done terrible with my April goals. I haven't even read 2 books (I've read 1 and a quarter, maybe). And with all the research papers I have to grade, I don't think I'll be finishing one before Friday comes. Oh well.
7. I need some new running songs. Anyone have suggestions? No bad techno, please. :)
I will end there. 7 is the perfect number, after all.
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Friday, April 24, 2009
Friday Five: Healthy Snacks
Obviously, if you're trying to lose weight consuming mass quantities of Oreos and Doritos is not the solution. It's really important to find healthy snacks because they can affect your energy levels and your caloric intake. Here are 5 of my favorites:
1. Almonds. Nuts like almonds are a great source of heart-healthy fats, plus they have a good dose of fiber, protein, and Vitamin E. Limit yourself, though; a small amount of almonds goes a long way.
2. Clementines. What's not to love about these cute, portable-friendly fruits? They are ridiculously easy to peel and therefore are great for keeping at your desk and within arm's reach when you get hungry.
3. Skinny Cow Chocolate Fudge Cone. This is my newest discovery, and besides being DELICIOUS, this 150 calorie treat satisfies my sweet tooth and has 3 grams of fiber! Fiber is your friend, people. (But I will say that consuming too much of it can have some adverse effects. You have been warned.)
4. Peanut butter on whole wheat toast. Mmm, peanut buttery goodness is hard to beat, and putting a tablespoon on two slices of Healthy Life 100% whole wheat bread (5 grams of fiber per serving!) hits the spot.
5. FiberPlus Antioxidants Chocolate Chip Chewy Bar. (Are you noting the fiber trend?) I used to be all about the FiberOne bars, but then I realized they, like practically every other packaged food on the planet, contain high fructose corn syrup. Then Kellog's created this tasty bar that happens to contain NO HFCS and has 20 fewer calories than FiberOne bars, so I was hooked! One of these tastes like a Samoa Girl Scout cookie without the guilt. Yummy!
What are your favorite snacks?
1. Almonds. Nuts like almonds are a great source of heart-healthy fats, plus they have a good dose of fiber, protein, and Vitamin E. Limit yourself, though; a small amount of almonds goes a long way.
2. Clementines. What's not to love about these cute, portable-friendly fruits? They are ridiculously easy to peel and therefore are great for keeping at your desk and within arm's reach when you get hungry.
3. Skinny Cow Chocolate Fudge Cone. This is my newest discovery, and besides being DELICIOUS, this 150 calorie treat satisfies my sweet tooth and has 3 grams of fiber! Fiber is your friend, people. (But I will say that consuming too much of it can have some adverse effects. You have been warned.)
4. Peanut butter on whole wheat toast. Mmm, peanut buttery goodness is hard to beat, and putting a tablespoon on two slices of Healthy Life 100% whole wheat bread (5 grams of fiber per serving!) hits the spot.
5. FiberPlus Antioxidants Chocolate Chip Chewy Bar. (Are you noting the fiber trend?) I used to be all about the FiberOne bars, but then I realized they, like practically every other packaged food on the planet, contain high fructose corn syrup. Then Kellog's created this tasty bar that happens to contain NO HFCS and has 20 fewer calories than FiberOne bars, so I was hooked! One of these tastes like a Samoa Girl Scout cookie without the guilt. Yummy!
What are your favorite snacks?
Thursday, April 23, 2009
A Thurday Tune, Vol. 2
Today's song is from one of my favorite Christian singer/songwriters, Brooke Fraser. I first discovered Brooke via The Secret Life of Kat, and I was immediately hooked. Her voice is lovely, for one, and she also happens to write some of the most heartfelt and provocative lyrics. The song I chose to share with you is called "Hosea's Wife," and it hit me in the gut when I took time to see what the lyrics really say. You can find the lyrics below the video.
Hosea's Wife by Brooke Fraser
I just spoke silence with the seeker next to me
She had a heart with hesitant, halting speech
That turned to mine and asked belligerently
What do I live for
I see the scars of searches everywhere I go
From hearts to wars to literature to radio
There's a question like a shame no one will show
What do I live for
We are Hosea's wife
We are squandering this life
Using people like ladders and words like knives
[Chorus]
If we've eyes to see
If we've ears to hear
To find it in our hearts and mouths the word that saves is near
Shed that shallow skin
Come and live again
Leave all you were before
To believe is to begin
There is truth in little corners of our lives
There are hints of it in songs and children's eyes
It's familiar, like an ancient lullaby
What do I live for
We are Hosea's wife
We are squandering this life
Using bodies like money and truth like lies
If we've eyes to see
If we've ears to hear
To find it in our hearts and mouths the word that saves is near
Shed that shallow skin
Come and live again
Leave all you were before
To believe is to begin
We are more than dust
That means somethin'
That means somethin'
We are more than just
Blood and emotions
Inklings and notions
Atoms on oceans
We are Hosea's wife
We are squandering this life
Using people like ladders and words like knives
If we've eyes to see
If we've ears to hear
To find it in our hearts and mouths the word that saves is near
Shed that shallow skin
Come and live again
Leave all you were before
To believe is to begin...
Hosea's Wife by Brooke Fraser
I just spoke silence with the seeker next to me
She had a heart with hesitant, halting speech
That turned to mine and asked belligerently
What do I live for
I see the scars of searches everywhere I go
From hearts to wars to literature to radio
There's a question like a shame no one will show
What do I live for
We are Hosea's wife
We are squandering this life
Using people like ladders and words like knives
[Chorus]
If we've eyes to see
If we've ears to hear
To find it in our hearts and mouths the word that saves is near
Shed that shallow skin
Come and live again
Leave all you were before
To believe is to begin
There is truth in little corners of our lives
There are hints of it in songs and children's eyes
It's familiar, like an ancient lullaby
What do I live for
We are Hosea's wife
We are squandering this life
Using bodies like money and truth like lies
If we've eyes to see
If we've ears to hear
To find it in our hearts and mouths the word that saves is near
Shed that shallow skin
Come and live again
Leave all you were before
To believe is to begin
We are more than dust
That means somethin'
That means somethin'
We are more than just
Blood and emotions
Inklings and notions
Atoms on oceans
We are Hosea's wife
We are squandering this life
Using people like ladders and words like knives
If we've eyes to see
If we've ears to hear
To find it in our hearts and mouths the word that saves is near
Shed that shallow skin
Come and live again
Leave all you were before
To believe is to begin...
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
American Idol: Top 7 (Again)
Since the judges saved Matt last week, we still had 7 contenders for this week's disco theme. No one was truly terrible, but no one was all that exciting, either, with the exception of my man, Kris Allen. He rocked "She Works Hard for the Money" and made it sound amazing (it didn't sound much like disco, but that's not really a bad thing in my opinion). I really hope he makes it to the finals, since he's basically the only remaining contestant I care about.
Click the video below to hear his performance, complete with a picture of that adorable and yet bizarre facial contortion he makes when hitting high notes.
Tonight 2 Idols will leave us for good. My predictions? Lil and Anoop.
Click the video below to hear his performance, complete with a picture of that adorable and yet bizarre facial contortion he makes when hitting high notes.
Tonight 2 Idols will leave us for good. My predictions? Lil and Anoop.
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
A Challenge for May: Are You with Me??
Those of you have been reading my blog for a while know I'm a big fan of SparkPeople.com. The site is FREE and provides all kinds of fitness and health information. When you sign up for an account, the site will also ask you about your weight loss goals and then provide you with a daily calorie range to aim for. You can track all your meals and exercise on the site, join teams, and find inspiration and motivation. Simply put, the site is amazing!
For the month of May, SparkPeople is holding a "Sweatsuit to Swimsuit Bootcamp." Read all the details about the challenge here. Basically, for 4 weeks in May, you'll follow a 7-day workout program that consists of short videos (no more than 10 minutes apiece) that tone and strengthen different parts of the body, and then you also will do 5, 30-minute cardio sessions each week. Note: you do need a resistance band to do the videos, but they are relatively cheap to buy, and a lot of the exercises will also have modifications if you don't have a band.
I have already signed up for this bootcamp, as I am always looking for new and fun ways to exercise, and I want to extend the invitation to my readers as well! Is anyone interested in doing this challenge with me? If so, leave a comment telling me you're going to do it with me! If you're not already a member of SparkPeople, it's very easy to sign up. If you sign up, mention that I referred you (my username is Erin1022).
Even if you don't want to do the challenge, if you want lots of good, solid information about health and weight loss, join the site! You won't regret it!
For the month of May, SparkPeople is holding a "Sweatsuit to Swimsuit Bootcamp." Read all the details about the challenge here. Basically, for 4 weeks in May, you'll follow a 7-day workout program that consists of short videos (no more than 10 minutes apiece) that tone and strengthen different parts of the body, and then you also will do 5, 30-minute cardio sessions each week. Note: you do need a resistance band to do the videos, but they are relatively cheap to buy, and a lot of the exercises will also have modifications if you don't have a band.
I have already signed up for this bootcamp, as I am always looking for new and fun ways to exercise, and I want to extend the invitation to my readers as well! Is anyone interested in doing this challenge with me? If so, leave a comment telling me you're going to do it with me! If you're not already a member of SparkPeople, it's very easy to sign up. If you sign up, mention that I referred you (my username is Erin1022).
Even if you don't want to do the challenge, if you want lots of good, solid information about health and weight loss, join the site! You won't regret it!
Monday, April 20, 2009
One-Sided Devotion
It was a familiar scene: me sitting in the recliner, stuffing my face. Food of choice: chocolate Teddy Grahams. About two minutes into shoving a handful of cookies into my mouth, I stopped. But ONLY because the box was empty.
I wish I could tell you this happened a looong time ago, before my revelation about the poor state of my health and before my commitment to an active, healthier lifestyle.
It was ten minutes ago.
I may be able to exercise for hours a week, but put me in front of some sweets or junk food, and I can easily become my former fat self, shoveling in food faster than I can even chew it. The fault is totally mine; I know that if I don't portion out things like Teddy Grahams or nuts or basically any kind of food that comes in a package, I will NOT stick to a serving size. I will tell myself, "I'll only eat a few." But of course a few becomes many, and then I'm left feeling guilty and woeful. I know that the afternoon is my weakest time emotionally, and yet I still allow myself to wander into the kitchen, ignore the questions I posted to avoid these very moments, and eat away.
If I could truly learn just one thing, it would be this: FOOD DOESN'T LOVE ME BACK. I can eat all of the goodies I want, love each morsel I put into my mouth, look with longing at the display of donuts, turn to food for comfort or out of boredom, but NEVER does the food offer me in return what I am truly looking for. So why do I keep looking to food to satisfy me? I know satisfaction in food is a temporary, fleeting thing. I know in a few hours I'll just be hungry again and have to fight the urge to eat the healthy choice instead of the junky one. I know that tomorrow I'll be waging this war all over again. I know that any time I indulge I won't feel comforted but guilty, and yet I continue this self-destructive pattern! Sure, the lapses occur far less frequently than they used to, but they still occur more often than I want them to, more often than they should.
I am a glutton, plain and simple. I make an idol out of food, expecting it to do what only God can. He alone can satisfy; He alone is my comfort and hope. How do I find the balance? How do I view food in a healthy way, as fuel and a necessary part of life and not as the entirety of my existence?
I am not entirely sure of the answers, but I know for certain the answer isn't in the bottom of a box of Teddy Grahams.
I wish I could tell you this happened a looong time ago, before my revelation about the poor state of my health and before my commitment to an active, healthier lifestyle.
It was ten minutes ago.
I may be able to exercise for hours a week, but put me in front of some sweets or junk food, and I can easily become my former fat self, shoveling in food faster than I can even chew it. The fault is totally mine; I know that if I don't portion out things like Teddy Grahams or nuts or basically any kind of food that comes in a package, I will NOT stick to a serving size. I will tell myself, "I'll only eat a few." But of course a few becomes many, and then I'm left feeling guilty and woeful. I know that the afternoon is my weakest time emotionally, and yet I still allow myself to wander into the kitchen, ignore the questions I posted to avoid these very moments, and eat away.
If I could truly learn just one thing, it would be this: FOOD DOESN'T LOVE ME BACK. I can eat all of the goodies I want, love each morsel I put into my mouth, look with longing at the display of donuts, turn to food for comfort or out of boredom, but NEVER does the food offer me in return what I am truly looking for. So why do I keep looking to food to satisfy me? I know satisfaction in food is a temporary, fleeting thing. I know in a few hours I'll just be hungry again and have to fight the urge to eat the healthy choice instead of the junky one. I know that tomorrow I'll be waging this war all over again. I know that any time I indulge I won't feel comforted but guilty, and yet I continue this self-destructive pattern! Sure, the lapses occur far less frequently than they used to, but they still occur more often than I want them to, more often than they should.
I am a glutton, plain and simple. I make an idol out of food, expecting it to do what only God can. He alone can satisfy; He alone is my comfort and hope. How do I find the balance? How do I view food in a healthy way, as fuel and a necessary part of life and not as the entirety of my existence?
I am not entirely sure of the answers, but I know for certain the answer isn't in the bottom of a box of Teddy Grahams.
Saturday, April 18, 2009
C25K: Looking Ahead to Week 7
I completed W6D3 today, a 25-minute run! It wasn't bad at all, and I did it in a light drizzle. I wasn't excited when I found it was raining outside, but the thought of running 25 minutes on the treadmill was enough to get me outside. The light rain actually felt nice and cooling on my skin, and instead of listening to the podcast, I listened to my own playlist of songs since it's pretty easy to keep track of when 25 minutes has elapsed. I felt great after I finished!
Week 7 looks to be the most intense yet, as to be expected, as it is 3 runs of 25 minutes each. This will be the first week where I will have NO walking intervals, and while that makes me a little nervous, I proved to myself today that I can run for 25 minutes once, so why not keep doing it??
The thing I'm debating is whether I should start running for distance instead of time. The program is set up so that you can either run a certain amount of time (in this case, 25 minutes), or a certain distance (2.5 miles). I've been running for time since starting, but with the 5k coming up in 3 weeks, I feel like I need to start thinking more about distance. What I'm thinking now is that I'll run the first day of week 7 for 25 minutes, and then try running the full 2.5 miles the other 2 days. I'm thinking that at my pace of about 12:40 minutes/mile, that will mean running for a little over 31 minutes. Does anyone have any thoughts/advice for me about this?
Week 7 looks to be the most intense yet, as to be expected, as it is 3 runs of 25 minutes each. This will be the first week where I will have NO walking intervals, and while that makes me a little nervous, I proved to myself today that I can run for 25 minutes once, so why not keep doing it??
The thing I'm debating is whether I should start running for distance instead of time. The program is set up so that you can either run a certain amount of time (in this case, 25 minutes), or a certain distance (2.5 miles). I've been running for time since starting, but with the 5k coming up in 3 weeks, I feel like I need to start thinking more about distance. What I'm thinking now is that I'll run the first day of week 7 for 25 minutes, and then try running the full 2.5 miles the other 2 days. I'm thinking that at my pace of about 12:40 minutes/mile, that will mean running for a little over 31 minutes. Does anyone have any thoughts/advice for me about this?
Friday, April 17, 2009
Friday Five
I'm a big fan of lists, so I'm going to start makings lists on Friday. I may stick to five things, but I may choose to expand if needed. It helps that choosing five gives me an alliterative title. :)
5 Websites I Visit Daily:
1. Gmail: I love it! All the cool kids use it. (Oh, but wait, I use it. Never mind.)
2. Google Reader: Having all the blogs I read in Google Reader saves me a lot of time because I don't have to try and remember all the URLs to sites, and I don't have to click through pages. Or maybe it just allows me to waste more time by subscribing to 100 blogs...
3. Facebook: I am addicted. I admit it.
4. SparkPeople: If you don't already know, this site is an amazing weight loss and fitness tool, and it's FREE! You can get a customized calorie range to track based on your needs, and there are free articles and even workout videos. It's awesome.
5. Pandora: Okay, so I technically may not visit daily, but I do go quite frequently so I can have some music to listen to at work. If you haven't checked out Pandora yet, go now! You can create your own radio stations around certain artists.
What are your favorite sites?
5 Websites I Visit Daily:
1. Gmail: I love it! All the cool kids use it. (Oh, but wait, I use it. Never mind.)
2. Google Reader: Having all the blogs I read in Google Reader saves me a lot of time because I don't have to try and remember all the URLs to sites, and I don't have to click through pages. Or maybe it just allows me to waste more time by subscribing to 100 blogs...
3. Facebook: I am addicted. I admit it.
4. SparkPeople: If you don't already know, this site is an amazing weight loss and fitness tool, and it's FREE! You can get a customized calorie range to track based on your needs, and there are free articles and even workout videos. It's awesome.
5. Pandora: Okay, so I technically may not visit daily, but I do go quite frequently so I can have some music to listen to at work. If you haven't checked out Pandora yet, go now! You can create your own radio stations around certain artists.
What are your favorite sites?
Thursday, April 16, 2009
A Thursday Tune
Stephen is great about finding new artists, and his latest find is one that I have fallen in love with. Meet Jon Troast, who is currently doing a tour of 100 concerts in 100 days, held in people's living rooms. Gotta love that. The video below is Jon performing "The Most," a song I have come to love, in someone's living room. Enjoy!
What are some tunes you are loving right now?
What are some tunes you are loving right now?
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
The Big One
Last night on The Biggest Loser (stop now if you don't want to be spoiled), the contestants got makeovers and then got to see some of their family and friends. I loved watching the contestants have fun looking at clothes, knowing how excited they must be to see the new possibilities their changed bodies have opened up for them. What made it even better is that the contestants didn't know they would get to see their families, so I was loving watching the reunions. Then Ron and Mike, a father and son team, were reunited with their family. If you don't watch the show, it's enough to say that Ron and Mike were both big guys (Ron was over 400 pounds when the show started and Mike at over 370 pounds). At the reunion was Ron's son and Mike's brother, Max, who is also big. Mike and Max hug, and Max's shoulders are heaving, he is crying so hard. When Ron and Mike asked Max why he was upset, he said, "I'm the big one."
My heart broke when I heard those words. I know exactly what he meant. My whole life, I have felt like "the big one." I still remember times in school or at church when I would go into a room and automatically look to see if anyone else was even remotely close to being as fat as I was. If I saw someone else who was big, I felt a modicum of comfort, but if I didn't? I felt complete misery. For some reason the fact that I was fat seemed a little bit less awful if someone else around me was also fat. I know Max feels utterly left out now that his father and brother are losing weight while he stays the same size. Misery loves company, and Max has lost his company.
The thing that bugged me about Ron and Mike's reaction to Max was the way they kept saying they would be coming home soon and would help him lose weight, help fix him. Max didn't need to worry because they were going to get him to be like they were. While I think it was so sweet the way they both tried to comfort Max, I think those comments were all wrong. Max doesn't need to wait until his father and brother get home. He doesn't need them to fix him. Ultimately, Max has to fix himself. Every person who is overweight has to decide for themselves that there is a problem. As much as loved ones may want to help or offer advice, if the person doesn't want to lose weight, it's not going to happen. I'm not saying Max doesn't want to lose weight because I think he obviously does, but if he's waiting on his brother or father to swoop in and make a transformation, he is misguided. That transformation has to begin within, and it's only when there is true commitment and determination to change, and even a little desperation connected to the desire to no longer be "the big one," will there be a true change.
I wanted to lose weight for years. I would look longingly at my skinny friends, my skinny mom and brother, and wish I were them. But wishing I was someone else didn't help me lose weight, just like wishing I weren't "the big one" didn't magically make the fat disappear. Until I owned up to the fact that I had made choices that led to my weight of 261 pounds and realized that only I could fix the problem, I was going to remain "the big one" who hated mirrors and shopping for clothes and being in a bathing suit. Until I recognized that the only true way to lose the weight was to work hard and eat well, I would remain "the big one." It was only when I was so desperate to be anything but "the big one" that my transformation began.
Even if I am still the biggest one in the room sometimes, I don't feel like "the big one" anymore. And that makes all the difference.
My heart broke when I heard those words. I know exactly what he meant. My whole life, I have felt like "the big one." I still remember times in school or at church when I would go into a room and automatically look to see if anyone else was even remotely close to being as fat as I was. If I saw someone else who was big, I felt a modicum of comfort, but if I didn't? I felt complete misery. For some reason the fact that I was fat seemed a little bit less awful if someone else around me was also fat. I know Max feels utterly left out now that his father and brother are losing weight while he stays the same size. Misery loves company, and Max has lost his company.
The thing that bugged me about Ron and Mike's reaction to Max was the way they kept saying they would be coming home soon and would help him lose weight, help fix him. Max didn't need to worry because they were going to get him to be like they were. While I think it was so sweet the way they both tried to comfort Max, I think those comments were all wrong. Max doesn't need to wait until his father and brother get home. He doesn't need them to fix him. Ultimately, Max has to fix himself. Every person who is overweight has to decide for themselves that there is a problem. As much as loved ones may want to help or offer advice, if the person doesn't want to lose weight, it's not going to happen. I'm not saying Max doesn't want to lose weight because I think he obviously does, but if he's waiting on his brother or father to swoop in and make a transformation, he is misguided. That transformation has to begin within, and it's only when there is true commitment and determination to change, and even a little desperation connected to the desire to no longer be "the big one," will there be a true change.
I wanted to lose weight for years. I would look longingly at my skinny friends, my skinny mom and brother, and wish I were them. But wishing I was someone else didn't help me lose weight, just like wishing I weren't "the big one" didn't magically make the fat disappear. Until I owned up to the fact that I had made choices that led to my weight of 261 pounds and realized that only I could fix the problem, I was going to remain "the big one" who hated mirrors and shopping for clothes and being in a bathing suit. Until I recognized that the only true way to lose the weight was to work hard and eat well, I would remain "the big one." It was only when I was so desperate to be anything but "the big one" that my transformation began.
Even if I am still the biggest one in the room sometimes, I don't feel like "the big one" anymore. And that makes all the difference.
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
Turning Point
This past Saturday was the Big Day, the day I was supposed to run for 20 minutes straight. I had several reservations about this, not the least of which was the fact that the most I had run before that was 8 minutes. How was I supposed to go from running 8 minutes at a time to 20 minutes at a time? I was starting to think the "brilliant" people who thought up Couch to 5k were a teensy wee bit crazy.
That morning, I was contemplating the likelihood of my completing the running session, and my husband Stephen decided to become my very own personal trainer.
"Are you going to do it?" he asks.
"I think so," I said meekly.
"Don't just think you will. Do you know you will?"
"I am going to try," I countered, not any more assured.
"Don't try, DO IT!"
I think he was channeling Jillian Michaels.
Stephen accompanied me to the park so he could run with me, which made me very happy. It was a cool day, but the sun was shining and the birds were chirping, and I felt great, much better than I did when I did the second run of week 5. We start the warm-up walk, Stephen holding my water bottle (aww), and then it's time for the Big One, the 20-minute run. He started off alongside me, but after a minute or two I left him in the dust. (Yes, that's right, I'm in better shape than my skinny husband!) I tried to focus on my breathing and my pace, not wanting to push myself too much so I could finish strong. Occasionally I looked behind me to see where Stephen was, but after a while I couldn't see him anymore. I hoped he hadn't passed out. Hehe. I kept running, feeling strong, feeling proud. I didn't look at my watch until 6 minutes in! I thought of Tara, a contestant on the Biggest Loser who has more tenacity than almost anyone I've ever seen, and I remembered how she and the other contestants ran a half-marathon after being on the ranch for something like 10 weeks. If they could do that, surely I could manage 20 minutes.
Another 7 minutes passed, and I was beyond the halfway point. I had run longer than I had ever run before at that point. I told myself that if I could do 13 minutes, there was no reason I couldn't do 7 more. I kept a fairly steady pace, enjoying the weather and the nature (I know, cheesy), and then before I knew it I was down to 2 minutes, and then it was done!
I RAN FOR 20 MINUTES! (Yes, I'm aware I'm shouting at you, but that's just how excited I am.) It was amazing. I felt amazing after it was over, like I had just scaled Mt. Everest (yeah, right). Tears sprung to my eyes as I thought about where I was just five short weeks ago, struggling to get through a mere 60 or 90 seconds of running. Now anything seemed possible, including the 5k coming up on May 9. If I can run for 20 minutes, there's no way I can't run for 30!
Saturday was a turning point for me in my running; now I feel like I truly am becoming a runner and will be able to make running a regular part of my fitness routine. Today I did day 1 of week 6, and it was a breeze. I'm not even all that nervous about the 25 minutes I have to run on day 3 of this week (mind you, I didn't say I wasn't nervous at ALL, just not that nervous). I NEVER thought I would be a runner. I always thought I just wasn't one of those people. Now I'm on my way to being someone I never thought possible.
I'm so proud of what I have accomplished; I think I will be more proud of finishing that 5k than I am of having lost 66 pounds. I have learned that the only true limits I have are the ones I put on myself, and I have to push past my negative thinking and simply focus on giving my everything to what I do.
I'm on my way to a 5k, baby!
That morning, I was contemplating the likelihood of my completing the running session, and my husband Stephen decided to become my very own personal trainer.
"Are you going to do it?" he asks.
"I think so," I said meekly.
"Don't just think you will. Do you know you will?"
"I am going to try," I countered, not any more assured.
"Don't try, DO IT!"
I think he was channeling Jillian Michaels.
Stephen accompanied me to the park so he could run with me, which made me very happy. It was a cool day, but the sun was shining and the birds were chirping, and I felt great, much better than I did when I did the second run of week 5. We start the warm-up walk, Stephen holding my water bottle (aww), and then it's time for the Big One, the 20-minute run. He started off alongside me, but after a minute or two I left him in the dust. (Yes, that's right, I'm in better shape than my skinny husband!) I tried to focus on my breathing and my pace, not wanting to push myself too much so I could finish strong. Occasionally I looked behind me to see where Stephen was, but after a while I couldn't see him anymore. I hoped he hadn't passed out. Hehe. I kept running, feeling strong, feeling proud. I didn't look at my watch until 6 minutes in! I thought of Tara, a contestant on the Biggest Loser who has more tenacity than almost anyone I've ever seen, and I remembered how she and the other contestants ran a half-marathon after being on the ranch for something like 10 weeks. If they could do that, surely I could manage 20 minutes.
Another 7 minutes passed, and I was beyond the halfway point. I had run longer than I had ever run before at that point. I told myself that if I could do 13 minutes, there was no reason I couldn't do 7 more. I kept a fairly steady pace, enjoying the weather and the nature (I know, cheesy), and then before I knew it I was down to 2 minutes, and then it was done!
I RAN FOR 20 MINUTES! (Yes, I'm aware I'm shouting at you, but that's just how excited I am.) It was amazing. I felt amazing after it was over, like I had just scaled Mt. Everest (yeah, right). Tears sprung to my eyes as I thought about where I was just five short weeks ago, struggling to get through a mere 60 or 90 seconds of running. Now anything seemed possible, including the 5k coming up on May 9. If I can run for 20 minutes, there's no way I can't run for 30!
Saturday was a turning point for me in my running; now I feel like I truly am becoming a runner and will be able to make running a regular part of my fitness routine. Today I did day 1 of week 6, and it was a breeze. I'm not even all that nervous about the 25 minutes I have to run on day 3 of this week (mind you, I didn't say I wasn't nervous at ALL, just not that nervous). I NEVER thought I would be a runner. I always thought I just wasn't one of those people. Now I'm on my way to being someone I never thought possible.
I'm so proud of what I have accomplished; I think I will be more proud of finishing that 5k than I am of having lost 66 pounds. I have learned that the only true limits I have are the ones I put on myself, and I have to push past my negative thinking and simply focus on giving my everything to what I do.
I'm on my way to a 5k, baby!
Thursday, April 9, 2009
C25K: The Struggle Continues
Today was W5D2 for me, which involves 2 8-minute runs with a 5-minute walk in between. I was dreading this day because 8 minutes seemed like an ETERNITY compared to 5 minutes. But I knew I wasn't going to make progress by staying on day 1 indefinitely, so I just tried to prepare myself for the torture. I'm so optimistic, aren't I?
I decided to do today's run at a local park that has a walking trail that is 1.3 miles long and is not completely flat (although the maximum grade is only 4%). The course I'll be doing for the 5k in May is comprised of "rolling hills" (not really sure where in Humboldt even HAS rolling hills, but whatever), and so I knew I'd need to do some training on incline surfaces. It was sunny, about 76 degrees and slightly windy, and when I got out of the car the loveliness of the weather welcomed me and actually made me slightly excited about the run. Then I started my warm-up walk, and before I knew it, the time for the first 8-minute run arrived. It just so happened that the run began right around where the first downward slope occurred, so I enjoyed a nice, breezy pace for a few hundred yards, until the trail sloped upward. I instantly felt the difference, and my calves tightened up. I have hardly noticed my calves in past training runs, but today they were really tight, I'm guessing because of the inclines. I jogged on, passing 4 minutes, then 5, and then I started feeling tired.
Running is as much a mental activity as it is a physical one. I don't know if I felt tired after those 5 minutes because I was genuinely tired or because I knew that was the longest I'd ever run, but I had to repeat Philippians 4:13 (I can do all things through Christ to strengthen me) to myself every few seconds until I got to the end of those 8 minutes. I have never been so relieved for a recovery walk! But like always, it went by much too quickly, and even though I didn't feel ready for the next 8-minute run, I started out again. During the previous run, my heart rate was consistently in the upper 170s and low 180s, and while for the most part I felt okay, during the second run I didn't feel okay at all. I tried doing the talk test, and I could barely gasp out Phil. 4:13, and my HR didn't dip below 180, so I decided to stop jogging after just 3 minutes.
I was SO disappointed that I didn't finish. I began wondering if I would ever be able to run for more than a few minutes at a time, if I would ever even be able to run 1 mile, much less 3. Shouldn't my endurance be improving by now? I feel like I'm stuck, or even moving backwards in terms of progress, and that's really discouraging. All of these thoughts were running through my head, and at one point I thought I might cry out of sheer frustration.
However, I decided to attempt one last 5-minute run so that if nothing else the total amount of running time would still be 16 minutes. So I began jogging again, and I had to cheer myself on almost immediately. I was hot and could feel the heat in my face, and my legs felt like lead. I told myself I would run to the next bench I saw, or for 5 minutes, whichever came first. Turns out 5 minutes and the bench came at the same time, and then I told myself I could run to the end of the trail marker, and then 6 minutes passed, and I told myself I could surely go 2 more minutes.
SO I DID!
I ended up walking/jogging 3.9 miles in 50 minutes, which is a 12:49 mile. I'm happy with that. My goal when I do the 5k is just to finish in 40 minutes, and while that is a really slow pace, for me I think it's realistic. I know that no matter what, even if my calves tighten up and my face feels like it's on fire or I just can't run a single more step, I'm going to finish that 5k. Even if I have to walk part of it, I will not be ashamed of that. I need to stop beating myself up if things don't go perfectly. I need to remember that it's amazing that I'm running at all. I ended up running for a total of 19 minutes, something I never thought I'd be able to do!
On day 3, which I will do on Saturday, I'm supposed to run for 20 minutes straight. I still have no idea how in the world I'll manage it, but I know if I can't do it, it won't be for lack of trying!
I decided to do today's run at a local park that has a walking trail that is 1.3 miles long and is not completely flat (although the maximum grade is only 4%). The course I'll be doing for the 5k in May is comprised of "rolling hills" (not really sure where in Humboldt even HAS rolling hills, but whatever), and so I knew I'd need to do some training on incline surfaces. It was sunny, about 76 degrees and slightly windy, and when I got out of the car the loveliness of the weather welcomed me and actually made me slightly excited about the run. Then I started my warm-up walk, and before I knew it, the time for the first 8-minute run arrived. It just so happened that the run began right around where the first downward slope occurred, so I enjoyed a nice, breezy pace for a few hundred yards, until the trail sloped upward. I instantly felt the difference, and my calves tightened up. I have hardly noticed my calves in past training runs, but today they were really tight, I'm guessing because of the inclines. I jogged on, passing 4 minutes, then 5, and then I started feeling tired.
Running is as much a mental activity as it is a physical one. I don't know if I felt tired after those 5 minutes because I was genuinely tired or because I knew that was the longest I'd ever run, but I had to repeat Philippians 4:13 (I can do all things through Christ to strengthen me) to myself every few seconds until I got to the end of those 8 minutes. I have never been so relieved for a recovery walk! But like always, it went by much too quickly, and even though I didn't feel ready for the next 8-minute run, I started out again. During the previous run, my heart rate was consistently in the upper 170s and low 180s, and while for the most part I felt okay, during the second run I didn't feel okay at all. I tried doing the talk test, and I could barely gasp out Phil. 4:13, and my HR didn't dip below 180, so I decided to stop jogging after just 3 minutes.
I was SO disappointed that I didn't finish. I began wondering if I would ever be able to run for more than a few minutes at a time, if I would ever even be able to run 1 mile, much less 3. Shouldn't my endurance be improving by now? I feel like I'm stuck, or even moving backwards in terms of progress, and that's really discouraging. All of these thoughts were running through my head, and at one point I thought I might cry out of sheer frustration.
However, I decided to attempt one last 5-minute run so that if nothing else the total amount of running time would still be 16 minutes. So I began jogging again, and I had to cheer myself on almost immediately. I was hot and could feel the heat in my face, and my legs felt like lead. I told myself I would run to the next bench I saw, or for 5 minutes, whichever came first. Turns out 5 minutes and the bench came at the same time, and then I told myself I could run to the end of the trail marker, and then 6 minutes passed, and I told myself I could surely go 2 more minutes.
SO I DID!
I ended up walking/jogging 3.9 miles in 50 minutes, which is a 12:49 mile. I'm happy with that. My goal when I do the 5k is just to finish in 40 minutes, and while that is a really slow pace, for me I think it's realistic. I know that no matter what, even if my calves tighten up and my face feels like it's on fire or I just can't run a single more step, I'm going to finish that 5k. Even if I have to walk part of it, I will not be ashamed of that. I need to stop beating myself up if things don't go perfectly. I need to remember that it's amazing that I'm running at all. I ended up running for a total of 19 minutes, something I never thought I'd be able to do!
On day 3, which I will do on Saturday, I'm supposed to run for 20 minutes straight. I still have no idea how in the world I'll manage it, but I know if I can't do it, it won't be for lack of trying!
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
Struggling
Yesterday I did something I haven't done very often since last January: I skipped a planned workout. The alarm went off at 6:02 a.m., and my whole body practically groaned with disappointment. I just couldn't get up. So I opted to sleep an hour later and work out later in the day. But later in the day came, and I just couldn't muster the energy or the motivation. So I skipped the workout, took a nice long, hot shower, and relaxed. And you know what? It felt wonderful.
Most days, I love exercise and look forward to it and relish the sense of accomplishment I feel afterwards. Lately, however, the thought of it all just makes me tired. When I was talking to Stephen about this, he suggested that maybe my body needs a break. I hadn't considered that, but when I stopped to think about it, it made complete sense. I've been consistently exercising and counting calories for almost 15 months, with few respites. I am tired. I am burnt out. And I need a rest. As much I tell myself that I can maintain a schedule of 5-6 hours of exercise a week for the rest of my life, I know that I can't, especially when children enter the picture. If I want my weight loss to last, I need to be more balanced in my approach to exercise. I can't let it take over my life. I want it to be part of my life, not all of my life.
So I'm scaling way back on the exercise. I'm going to aim for no more than 180 minutes a week for this week and next. I'm going to focus on eating well but not worry about tracking every calorie that I consume. I desperately need to get better at listening to my body's hunger cues and decrease the dependency I have on calorie counting. I think counting calories was a great way for me to get started, and I don't know if I would have been as successful had I not counted calories, but I also know that I don't want to count calories for the rest of my life. It's not realistic.
Basically, all the frustration and weariness I've felt recently has awakened me to the fact that I still have a lot to learn about this whole weight loss process, and I want to take steps now to ensure that I don't crash and burn later. Truthfully, my body can't afford for me to gain all that weight back. Here's to a new, balanced approach!
Most days, I love exercise and look forward to it and relish the sense of accomplishment I feel afterwards. Lately, however, the thought of it all just makes me tired. When I was talking to Stephen about this, he suggested that maybe my body needs a break. I hadn't considered that, but when I stopped to think about it, it made complete sense. I've been consistently exercising and counting calories for almost 15 months, with few respites. I am tired. I am burnt out. And I need a rest. As much I tell myself that I can maintain a schedule of 5-6 hours of exercise a week for the rest of my life, I know that I can't, especially when children enter the picture. If I want my weight loss to last, I need to be more balanced in my approach to exercise. I can't let it take over my life. I want it to be part of my life, not all of my life.
So I'm scaling way back on the exercise. I'm going to aim for no more than 180 minutes a week for this week and next. I'm going to focus on eating well but not worry about tracking every calorie that I consume. I desperately need to get better at listening to my body's hunger cues and decrease the dependency I have on calorie counting. I think counting calories was a great way for me to get started, and I don't know if I would have been as successful had I not counted calories, but I also know that I don't want to count calories for the rest of my life. It's not realistic.
Basically, all the frustration and weariness I've felt recently has awakened me to the fact that I still have a lot to learn about this whole weight loss process, and I want to take steps now to ensure that I don't crash and burn later. Truthfully, my body can't afford for me to gain all that weight back. Here's to a new, balanced approach!
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
American Idol: The Top 9
My favorite performance of the night, and probably of the season, was Kris Allen's performance of "Ain't No Sunshine." He totally made it his own, and he rocked the vocals. Here it is, for your viewing/listening pleasure (the first video I had posted got taken down, so this one just has audio, but that's really all you need):
I mean, seriously, how awesome was that??
I also liked Danny's performance, but the rest were kind of lackluster, and Adam's song choice was random and weird (nothing shocking there).
Who's going home: Megan or Anoop
On an unrelated note, if you would like to win some Popchips, head on over to this blog entry by one of my favorite bloggers, The Prior Fat Girl.
I mean, seriously, how awesome was that??
I also liked Danny's performance, but the rest were kind of lackluster, and Adam's song choice was random and weird (nothing shocking there).
Who's going home: Megan or Anoop
On an unrelated note, if you would like to win some Popchips, head on over to this blog entry by one of my favorite bloggers, The Prior Fat Girl.
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