I've been thinking about this for a while, and I have friends who have made lists, and then Stephen and I just watched Bucket List last weekend, so it's time. Here is my own list of things I want to do before I die.
1. Own a home.
2. Have at least one child.
3. Lose 100 pounds (63 to go!).
4. Visit all 7 continents (I've been to Africa, Europe, Asia, and of course, North America, so all that's left are Australia, South America, and Antarctica).
5. Visit Italy and ride in a gondola and see the Trevi Fountain and St. Peter's Basilica (among other things).
6. Ride in a hot-air balloon.
7. Go sky-diving.
8. Visit all 50 states.
9. Sew an item of clothing. (Or at least learn to sew on a button. How sad is it that I can't do that?)
10. Take a picture of the perfect sunset.
11. Stay up all night and watch the sunrise.
12. Sleep under the stars on the beach.
13. Go to SeaWorld.
14. See a whale in the wild.
15. Ride a camel in Egypt.
16. Kiss in the rain.
17. Volunteer at a soup kitchen.
18. Surprise a stranger with $100.
19. Lie in a hammock on an island beach.
20. Run a 5k. (Hey, I have to start small.)
22. Walk 15 miles in one day.
23. Learn all the correct swimming strokes.
24. Make a quilt.
25. Go to New York City during Christmastime.
26. Kiss underneath mistletoe.
27. Write a novel.
28. Read 100 books in a year.
29. Take Stephen to a World Series game.
30. Throw a fancy dinner party (thanks for the idea, Renee!)
31. Stay in a cozy mountain cabin with Stephen for a week (preferably in the fall or winter).
32. Go sailing in an ocean.
33. Catch a fish.
34. Write a children's book.
35. Teach my nephew and my future children about Jesus.
36. See 5 people come to know the Lord.
37. Cook a meal without measuring anything.
38. Find the perfect red dress.
39. See a Broadway show.
40. Go snorkeling in the Great Barrier Reef.
41. Teach all the world that "a lot" is two words!
Okay, so the last one is kind of a joke, but seriously people, if you read this blog and learn nothing else from me, learn that one thing: "alot" is NOT a word!
It looks like I'm going to need a good amount of money to accomplish the things on this list. Or a lot of frequent flyer miles. :) Stephen, we need to start saving now!
What's on your list?
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
Thursday, August 21, 2008
Physical, Schmysical
I don't have diabetes! My blood sugar is completely in the normal range, as is my blood pressure. (My weight isn't, but I'm pretty sure I knew that anyway, haha. Otherwise, why would I be working out like a fiend?) And the doctor's scale says I'm 6 pounds heavier than my home scale! Boooo! I'm just going to ignore that, though, because it probably hasn't been calibrated in who knows when (it's not digital) and mine is the scale I have access to, PLUS, even if I am a little heavier than I thought, that doesn't change the fact that I've lost 35 pounds (almost 36!)! He said by losing weight I'm doing the best thing I can to prevent diabetes and that losing just 10% of your weight improves the odds a lot, and I've lost almost 15%! I'm going back tomorrow morning for a lipid screen (or whatever it's called) to get my cholesterol checked. I'm not too worried about that, though. So all in all, it was no big deal. He just kind of poked and prodded a bit and asked me some questions, they checked my blood sugar (and only because I asked to be tested), and that was it. I'm wondering if I just had some misconceptions about what a physical entails, or if this doctor just isn't as thorough. Hmm..
Anyway, all that to say a big THANK YOU to my sweet bloggy friends for all of the kind words and prayers and general encouragement. You're fabulous! Anyway, all that to say a big THANK YOU to my sweet bloggy friends for all of the kind words and prayers and general encouragement. You're fabulous!
Anyway, all that to say a big THANK YOU to my sweet bloggy friends for all of the kind words and prayers and general encouragement. You're fabulous! Anyway, all that to say a big THANK YOU to my sweet bloggy friends for all of the kind words and prayers and general encouragement. You're fabulous!
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
Fear Not
Tomorrow I'm getting a physical, and I'm not gonna lie: I'm scared. And honestly, I wouldn't even be getting one if my husband hadn't scheduled the appointment for me. I know it will be good for me to see exactly where I am and how my body is doing, but part of me doesn't want to know. I am afraid the doctor will tell me that I have a list a mile long of things that are wrong with me, and I just don't know how I'll deal with that. I know it's useless to worry and there's nothing I can do right now, but I'm worried anyway. I'm especially worried that I have diabetes because it runs on both sides of my family, and it's really amazing that I haven't gotten it yet because of the lifestyle I was living before January of this year. I'm hoping that all of the hard work I've put in this year will show itself at the physical, but what if it doesn't? What if I have high blood pressure and diabetes and high cholesterol and who knows what else? What if all the exercise I've done has been in vain? Part of me knows that I'm just being ridiculous, and another part of me just wants to get it over with and know one way or the other. If you think about it, say a prayer for me. My appointment is Thursday at 1:30. I really really hope I don't get any bad news.
To combat this fear, or any fear, there's only one solution: God's Word. I shouldn't fear some silly physical or anything else; God is not wringing His hands and worrying about tomorrow or anything else, so why should I, when my life is in His more than capable hands? I need to have the fear of the Lord! So I looked up several verses and will post them here, in case someone reading this needs to be reminded that God is in control, and HE has the power!
Psalm 27:1: The LORD is my light and my salvation— whom shall I fear? The LORD is the stronghold of my life— of whom shall I be afraid?
Psalm 34:4: I sought the LORD, and he answered me; he delivered me from all my fears.
Psalm 145:18-19: The LORD is near to all who call on him, to all who call on him in truth. He fulfills the desires of those who fear him; he hears their cry and saves them.
Isaiah 41:10, 13: So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand...For I am the LORD, your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you.
Matthew 6:25, 34: Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes?...Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.
Romans 8:14-15: ...because those who are led by the Spirit of God are sons of God. For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the Spirit of sonship. And by him we cry, "Abba, Father."
To combat this fear, or any fear, there's only one solution: God's Word. I shouldn't fear some silly physical or anything else; God is not wringing His hands and worrying about tomorrow or anything else, so why should I, when my life is in His more than capable hands? I need to have the fear of the Lord! So I looked up several verses and will post them here, in case someone reading this needs to be reminded that God is in control, and HE has the power!
Psalm 27:1: The LORD is my light and my salvation— whom shall I fear? The LORD is the stronghold of my life— of whom shall I be afraid?
Psalm 34:4: I sought the LORD, and he answered me; he delivered me from all my fears.
Psalm 145:18-19: The LORD is near to all who call on him, to all who call on him in truth. He fulfills the desires of those who fear him; he hears their cry and saves them.
Isaiah 41:10, 13: So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand...For I am the LORD, your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you.
Matthew 6:25, 34: Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes?...Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.
Romans 8:14-15: ...because those who are led by the Spirit of God are sons of God. For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the Spirit of sonship. And by him we cry, "Abba, Father."
Sunday, August 17, 2008
Can You Do 100 Push Ups?
I sure can't! But I am going to be able to after I complete the 100 Hundred Push Ups Challenge. After beginning the initial test doing the "real" push ups and collapsing after just three, I decided that I would have to go for the alternative, aka "girly" push ups, for the time being. I was able to do 16 "good form" girly push ups, which put me in the second column (see the chart for week 1). I completed the first week on Saturday, and while the first two days were relatively simple, the third day was TOUGH! I can't wait to be stronger so I can really tackle them, especially after my husband did 100 pushups yesterday with just a little difficulty!
Week 1
Day 1 (Monday, Aug. 11): 10, 10, 8, 6, 9
Day 2 (Wednesday, Aug. 13): 12, 12, 10, 10, 13
Day 3 (Saturday, Aug. 16): 15, 13, 10, 10, 17
Week 2
Day 4 (Monday, Aug. 19):
Day 5 (Wednesday, Aug. 21):
Day 6 (Friday, Aug. 23):
I've looked over the whole program, and I'm thinking it's pretty likely that I'll have to repeat some weeks, which is fine. I'm not in a rush; I just want to be able to do 100 eventually. Then it's my hope to restart the challenge doing the "real" push ups. Then I can take on my husband! Yeah! :)
Now, the real question is: who wants to join me?? (Visit Kat's blog to see some others who have undertaken the challenge. And really, you should just read her blog anyway. It's great!)
Week 1
Day 1 (Monday, Aug. 11): 10, 10, 8, 6, 9
Day 2 (Wednesday, Aug. 13): 12, 12, 10, 10, 13
Day 3 (Saturday, Aug. 16): 15, 13, 10, 10, 17
Week 2
Day 4 (Monday, Aug. 19):
Day 5 (Wednesday, Aug. 21):
Day 6 (Friday, Aug. 23):
I've looked over the whole program, and I'm thinking it's pretty likely that I'll have to repeat some weeks, which is fine. I'm not in a rush; I just want to be able to do 100 eventually. Then it's my hope to restart the challenge doing the "real" push ups. Then I can take on my husband! Yeah! :)
Now, the real question is: who wants to join me?? (Visit Kat's blog to see some others who have undertaken the challenge. And really, you should just read her blog anyway. It's great!)
Thursday, August 14, 2008
A Little Booky Goodness
I was tagged by Heather.
1. Hardback or trade paperback or mass market paperback? I prefer paperbacks, both because they're cheap and because they're more flexible, which makes for easier reading.
2. Amazon or brick and mortar? I love browsing bookstores, but I've probably bought most of my books online, mainly through half.com.
3. Barnes & Noble or Borders? Oooooh, Borders, how I miss thee! Knoxville had a Borders and a Barnes & Noble, and it was so fabulous, but then I moved to Jackson and all we have is a lowsy Books-a-Million, which I loathe, and a Waldenbooks, which is sorely lacking in selection.
4. Bookmark or dogear? Um, not sure if this is wise to admit or not, but I will dogear books if they come from the library, but if it's a book I own or have borrowed from someone I know, I find a bookmark. Hehe.
5. Alphabetize by author or alphabetize by title or random? Very random, although I'm currently trying to decide how I'd like to arrange them. I'm considering alphabetizing by title or grouping according to subject. Any suggestions?
6. Keep, throw away, or sell? Throw away?? Are you kidding? I'm pretty sure it's a sin to throw away books, unless they are completely falling apart and can't be read any longer. I keep books, but I also will sell ones that I don't think I'll want to read again.
7. Keep dustjacket or toss it? Ugh, dustjackets are obnoxious. I always take them off while reading a book and then replace them later. I don't have it in my to throw them away, however.
8. Read with dustjacket or remove it? See #7
9. Short story or novel? Novels, although I do enjoy short stories as well. Duh.
10. Collection (short stories by same author) or anthology (short stories by different authors)? I love anthologies because there is so much variety. I tend to gravitate towards those more so than collections.
11. Harry Potter or Lemony Snicket? Harry Potter, no contest. It doesn't even matter that I haven't read Lemony Snicket.
12. Stop reading when tired or at chapter breaks? Typically chapter breaks.
13. “It was a dark and stormy night” or “Once upon a time”? Definitely "it was a dark and stormy night," but there's nothing wrong with a nice, twisted fairy tale.
14. Buy or Borrow? I don't usually borrow many books from friends, but I have no problem borrowing from the library (and then forgetting to return them). I do buy books, but not nearly as much as I used to.
15. New or used? Used if I can get it. I'm all about cheap.
16. Buying choice: book reviews, recommendation or browse? Book reviews? Blah. I go on recommendations a lot, or just browse the shelves.
17. Tidy ending or cliffhanger? A little of both, perhaps: I don't want it to be so neat and tidy that there's no room left for imagination, but I don't want it to be completely open-ended. Some resolution (or denouement, to use of my favorite words) is needed.
18. Morning reading, afternoon reading or nighttime reading? I read most often in the late afternoon and evening.
19. Stand-alone or series? Stand-alone books, although I love a good series. I just hate waiting for the next one to come out, if it's a series still being written.
20. Favorite series? Hmm, this is tough. Harry Potter, probably. Oh, or the Anne books. Yes, the Anne books, I think.
21. Favorite children’s book? Ooooh, this is tough, too! I love The Velveteen Rabbit, Where the Wild Things Are, The Giving Tree. For chapter books, I loved reading all of the Ramona books by Beverly Cleary, and the Anastasia series by Lois Lowry, along with Nancy Drew, Sweet Valley High, and the Baby-sitters Club. (There were a LOT of Baby-sitters Club books, and I owned almost all of them at one point, including the "super specials". That's pretty crazy. And oh my word, I just looked up the series, and there were some super specials that I definitely missed! And according to Wikipedia, Ann M. Martin didn't write all of the books! I'm completely thunderstruck.)
22. Favorite book of which nobody else has heard? Stepping Heavenward by Elizabeth Prentiss. Has anyone read this book? I highly recommend it.
23. Favorite books read last year? I wish I could remember what I read last year...oh, The Kite Runner! I'm sure there are others, but I just can't think of them. I need to keep better records.
24. Favorite books of all time? Pride and Prejudice (Austen), Jane Eyre (C. Bronte), Little Women (Alcott), Mere Christianity (Lewis), Redeeming Love (Rivers), The Eyre Affair (Fforde), Troilus and Criseyde (Chaucer), David Copperfield (Dickens), My Antonia (Cather), Invisible Man (Ellison), Lord of the Rings (Tolkien), the Harry Potter series (Rowling), the Anne and Emily series (Montgomery).
25. Least favorite book you finished last year? Hmm, I distinctly remember strongly disliking Sula by Toni Morrison. I just couldn't stand the main character, and it's difficult to like a book when you don't like the main character at least a little bit.
26. What are you reading right now? Anne of Green Gables. It's lovely to read again. I used to read several books at once, but lately I've just been loyal to one a time, and I find it much less stressful that way, haha.
27. What is your secret guilty pleasure book(s)? Hmm, perhaps the Shopaholic books by Sophie Kinsella. They're "fluff," but they're hysterical fluff. I read them when I just need something fun. I also read a lot of Karen Kingsbury's books.
28. What book have you always wanted to read but not had time to? Anna Karennina
29. What book do you hate the most that you've read all the way through? The Color Purple. Or Wuthering Heights. I know, I know, they're classics, yada yada...
30. What are you reading next? Anne of Avonlea, probably. I'm also thinking about rereading The Time Traveler's Wife and Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince (to prepare for the movie).
If you made it all the way through this, congratulations! Feel free to fill it out if you want. (Lauren and Stef, I'd love it if you gals did!)
1. Hardback or trade paperback or mass market paperback? I prefer paperbacks, both because they're cheap and because they're more flexible, which makes for easier reading.
2. Amazon or brick and mortar? I love browsing bookstores, but I've probably bought most of my books online, mainly through half.com.
3. Barnes & Noble or Borders? Oooooh, Borders, how I miss thee! Knoxville had a Borders and a Barnes & Noble, and it was so fabulous, but then I moved to Jackson and all we have is a lowsy Books-a-Million, which I loathe, and a Waldenbooks, which is sorely lacking in selection.
4. Bookmark or dogear? Um, not sure if this is wise to admit or not, but I will dogear books if they come from the library, but if it's a book I own or have borrowed from someone I know, I find a bookmark. Hehe.
5. Alphabetize by author or alphabetize by title or random? Very random, although I'm currently trying to decide how I'd like to arrange them. I'm considering alphabetizing by title or grouping according to subject. Any suggestions?
6. Keep, throw away, or sell? Throw away?? Are you kidding? I'm pretty sure it's a sin to throw away books, unless they are completely falling apart and can't be read any longer. I keep books, but I also will sell ones that I don't think I'll want to read again.
7. Keep dustjacket or toss it? Ugh, dustjackets are obnoxious. I always take them off while reading a book and then replace them later. I don't have it in my to throw them away, however.
8. Read with dustjacket or remove it? See #7
9. Short story or novel? Novels, although I do enjoy short stories as well. Duh.
10. Collection (short stories by same author) or anthology (short stories by different authors)? I love anthologies because there is so much variety. I tend to gravitate towards those more so than collections.
11. Harry Potter or Lemony Snicket? Harry Potter, no contest. It doesn't even matter that I haven't read Lemony Snicket.
12. Stop reading when tired or at chapter breaks? Typically chapter breaks.
13. “It was a dark and stormy night” or “Once upon a time”? Definitely "it was a dark and stormy night," but there's nothing wrong with a nice, twisted fairy tale.
14. Buy or Borrow? I don't usually borrow many books from friends, but I have no problem borrowing from the library (and then forgetting to return them). I do buy books, but not nearly as much as I used to.
15. New or used? Used if I can get it. I'm all about cheap.
16. Buying choice: book reviews, recommendation or browse? Book reviews? Blah. I go on recommendations a lot, or just browse the shelves.
17. Tidy ending or cliffhanger? A little of both, perhaps: I don't want it to be so neat and tidy that there's no room left for imagination, but I don't want it to be completely open-ended. Some resolution (or denouement, to use of my favorite words) is needed.
18. Morning reading, afternoon reading or nighttime reading? I read most often in the late afternoon and evening.
19. Stand-alone or series? Stand-alone books, although I love a good series. I just hate waiting for the next one to come out, if it's a series still being written.
20. Favorite series? Hmm, this is tough. Harry Potter, probably. Oh, or the Anne books. Yes, the Anne books, I think.
21. Favorite children’s book? Ooooh, this is tough, too! I love The Velveteen Rabbit, Where the Wild Things Are, The Giving Tree. For chapter books, I loved reading all of the Ramona books by Beverly Cleary, and the Anastasia series by Lois Lowry, along with Nancy Drew, Sweet Valley High, and the Baby-sitters Club. (There were a LOT of Baby-sitters Club books, and I owned almost all of them at one point, including the "super specials". That's pretty crazy. And oh my word, I just looked up the series, and there were some super specials that I definitely missed! And according to Wikipedia, Ann M. Martin didn't write all of the books! I'm completely thunderstruck.)
22. Favorite book of which nobody else has heard? Stepping Heavenward by Elizabeth Prentiss. Has anyone read this book? I highly recommend it.
23. Favorite books read last year? I wish I could remember what I read last year...oh, The Kite Runner! I'm sure there are others, but I just can't think of them. I need to keep better records.
24. Favorite books of all time? Pride and Prejudice (Austen), Jane Eyre (C. Bronte), Little Women (Alcott), Mere Christianity (Lewis), Redeeming Love (Rivers), The Eyre Affair (Fforde), Troilus and Criseyde (Chaucer), David Copperfield (Dickens), My Antonia (Cather), Invisible Man (Ellison), Lord of the Rings (Tolkien), the Harry Potter series (Rowling), the Anne and Emily series (Montgomery).
25. Least favorite book you finished last year? Hmm, I distinctly remember strongly disliking Sula by Toni Morrison. I just couldn't stand the main character, and it's difficult to like a book when you don't like the main character at least a little bit.
26. What are you reading right now? Anne of Green Gables. It's lovely to read again. I used to read several books at once, but lately I've just been loyal to one a time, and I find it much less stressful that way, haha.
27. What is your secret guilty pleasure book(s)? Hmm, perhaps the Shopaholic books by Sophie Kinsella. They're "fluff," but they're hysterical fluff. I read them when I just need something fun. I also read a lot of Karen Kingsbury's books.
28. What book have you always wanted to read but not had time to? Anna Karennina
29. What book do you hate the most that you've read all the way through? The Color Purple. Or Wuthering Heights. I know, I know, they're classics, yada yada...
30. What are you reading next? Anne of Avonlea, probably. I'm also thinking about rereading The Time Traveler's Wife and Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince (to prepare for the movie).
If you made it all the way through this, congratulations! Feel free to fill it out if you want. (Lauren and Stef, I'd love it if you gals did!)
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
Sometimes a plus is a negative
I've now lost 35 pounds! I'm so excited! And while that is a lot of weight, I still have 65 pounds to go. The thought of losing 65 more pounds can be daunting at times, so I thought I'd discuss what the most exciting part of losing all this weight will be: Buying clothes that are NOT in the plus size department. The day that I can walk into a store and shop in the misses' department will be a glorious day (and you can bet I will cry and then blog about it later). Those of you who have never been a "plus size" (and who came up with that terminology??), this is a huge deal because for every 3 items of misses' clothing in a store, there is maybe 1 plus-sized item. Sometimes I still get so mad when I go into a store like Target or Kohl's and see the wide expanse of clothes for women sized 0-18 and then see the itty bitty corner of the store devoted to women who require a larger size. And in that itty bitty corner of the store, there is even less likelihood that what is there will be at all appealing, as apparently many fashion designers think that people who are overweight only want to wear polyester pant suits, denim with elastic waistbands, and broomstick skirts. Oh, and if it is cute, it probably costs $50 or more. I realize that clothes can be expensive no matter the size, but it's much harder to find cute, affordable clothing in my size than in the size I hope to eventually be. When I reach my goal weight, I will have so many more options!
An added bonus of this is that I will no longer feel so embarrassed to go shopping with friends. I have always hated shopping with other people, except for my mom, because I hate that I have to go to a completely different section of the store, while all my cute smaller friends are hanging out together and trying on the same shirt (which of course doesn't come in my size). So instead of calling attention to the fact that I am "plus-sized," I just don't look for any clothes and instead help my friends find what they want. And while that can be fun, it can also be terribly depressing, so I am SO ready for the day when I can go shopping with a friend and we can look at the same clothes!
I think what's interesting about all of this is that you'd think the dearth of cute clothing in larger sizes would have motivated me to lose weight sooner, but instead I would just go home and cry and eat ice cream. Sad, sad, sad! I'm so thankful that I stopped feeling sorry for myself and decided to DO something. I could cry all I want, but is that going to change anything? NO! I have to decide to change, and then I have to act on that decision. So I'm going to keep going until I am where I want to be, and I can walk proudly into a store and kiss that itty bitty corner goodbye!
An added bonus of this is that I will no longer feel so embarrassed to go shopping with friends. I have always hated shopping with other people, except for my mom, because I hate that I have to go to a completely different section of the store, while all my cute smaller friends are hanging out together and trying on the same shirt (which of course doesn't come in my size). So instead of calling attention to the fact that I am "plus-sized," I just don't look for any clothes and instead help my friends find what they want. And while that can be fun, it can also be terribly depressing, so I am SO ready for the day when I can go shopping with a friend and we can look at the same clothes!
I think what's interesting about all of this is that you'd think the dearth of cute clothing in larger sizes would have motivated me to lose weight sooner, but instead I would just go home and cry and eat ice cream. Sad, sad, sad! I'm so thankful that I stopped feeling sorry for myself and decided to DO something. I could cry all I want, but is that going to change anything? NO! I have to decide to change, and then I have to act on that decision. So I'm going to keep going until I am where I want to be, and I can walk proudly into a store and kiss that itty bitty corner goodbye!
Monday, August 11, 2008
What's Weighing Me Down
1. Sometimes this whole weight loss thing is really hard, and I want to eat everything in sight. Saturday was one of those days, but I'm not going to allow myself to be crippled by guilt. Each day is a new day, and God's mercies are new every morning.
2. I'm afraid I won't reach my goal, or if I do, I'm afraid of gaining it all back. Not succeeding or not maintaining my weight are my two biggest fears. I have had this goal in my head for so long now (although 6 months isn't too long in the grand scheme of things, I suppose) that not reaching it would be a huge disappointment. There's also the fact that so many people know I'm trying to lose all this weight, so if I don't, will they just see me as a failure? But then if they do, why should I care? I'm not doing this for them.
3. I care entirely too much about what other people think. It's one of my biggest flaws, something I have battled my whole life and will probably battle for the rest of my life, but I'm so thankful that I have Stephen around to tell me when I'm being ridiculous.
4. I wish I could run long distances, or at least be able to run a mile, but something is holding me back from even putting in a concerted effort to improve at running. I think I've just told myself for so long that I'm not a runner that I have convinced myself of that truth. And as of right now, I'm not a runner, but is that because I can't be one or because I just haven't tried hard enough?
5. Occasionally I try to imagine myself as 100 pounds lighter, but I have no idea what that even looks like. I haven't been what I would consider thin ever in my life, and even when I reach my 100 pound goal, I will probably have more to lose, as that's at the high end of the healthy range for my size. Will I ever know skinny? And if I never do, will I be okay with that?
6. Sometimes I just want to quit. I'm going to have to think about my weight for the rest of my life, and the thought of that exhausts me. But you know what? I have thought about my weight for my whole life thus far, and most of those thoughts led nowhere. Now, however, those thoughts are becoming actions that are changing who I am, and if I keep that up, thinking about my weight won't be a source of depression but a source of hope.
7. I worry that I won't always have the drive to exercise like I do now. Sometimes I wake up with such determination that there is nothing to do BUT exercise. I am resolved and confident that I will succeed, and on those days, workouts are victorious, sweaty moments. On the days when I wake up and want to quit, those workouts are just sweaty, but they're workouts nevertheless.
8. I'm afraid I don't challenge myself enough. I don't want to take the easy route with my workouts, just doing the same things over and over because I know them and know I can do them. I want to explore new things and discover new heights that I can reach. Sometimes I push myself as far as I think I can go. Sometimes I wimp out and just do enough to get by. I don't want to live a life where I just get by; I want to thrive, to run the race set before me with perseverance and hope.
9. I compare my weight loss success to that of others and usually wonder how they're losing faster than I am. In my distorted view of reality, everyone works out more, eats less, burns more calories, and loses more weight than I do. Of course this can't be true, but logic was never my strong point.
10. I worry that I'll pass on my problems with my weight to my kids. I really really pray that my children have Stephen's body type and metabolism and not mine. And I really really hope I can be a good example for them and not a stumbling block.
This is a lot to carry on my shoulders every day. But fortunately for me, I don't have to carry it:
Matthew 11:28-30: "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."
And none of these things matter anyway:
Matthew 6:33-34: "But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."
2. I'm afraid I won't reach my goal, or if I do, I'm afraid of gaining it all back. Not succeeding or not maintaining my weight are my two biggest fears. I have had this goal in my head for so long now (although 6 months isn't too long in the grand scheme of things, I suppose) that not reaching it would be a huge disappointment. There's also the fact that so many people know I'm trying to lose all this weight, so if I don't, will they just see me as a failure? But then if they do, why should I care? I'm not doing this for them.
3. I care entirely too much about what other people think. It's one of my biggest flaws, something I have battled my whole life and will probably battle for the rest of my life, but I'm so thankful that I have Stephen around to tell me when I'm being ridiculous.
4. I wish I could run long distances, or at least be able to run a mile, but something is holding me back from even putting in a concerted effort to improve at running. I think I've just told myself for so long that I'm not a runner that I have convinced myself of that truth. And as of right now, I'm not a runner, but is that because I can't be one or because I just haven't tried hard enough?
5. Occasionally I try to imagine myself as 100 pounds lighter, but I have no idea what that even looks like. I haven't been what I would consider thin ever in my life, and even when I reach my 100 pound goal, I will probably have more to lose, as that's at the high end of the healthy range for my size. Will I ever know skinny? And if I never do, will I be okay with that?
6. Sometimes I just want to quit. I'm going to have to think about my weight for the rest of my life, and the thought of that exhausts me. But you know what? I have thought about my weight for my whole life thus far, and most of those thoughts led nowhere. Now, however, those thoughts are becoming actions that are changing who I am, and if I keep that up, thinking about my weight won't be a source of depression but a source of hope.
7. I worry that I won't always have the drive to exercise like I do now. Sometimes I wake up with such determination that there is nothing to do BUT exercise. I am resolved and confident that I will succeed, and on those days, workouts are victorious, sweaty moments. On the days when I wake up and want to quit, those workouts are just sweaty, but they're workouts nevertheless.
8. I'm afraid I don't challenge myself enough. I don't want to take the easy route with my workouts, just doing the same things over and over because I know them and know I can do them. I want to explore new things and discover new heights that I can reach. Sometimes I push myself as far as I think I can go. Sometimes I wimp out and just do enough to get by. I don't want to live a life where I just get by; I want to thrive, to run the race set before me with perseverance and hope.
9. I compare my weight loss success to that of others and usually wonder how they're losing faster than I am. In my distorted view of reality, everyone works out more, eats less, burns more calories, and loses more weight than I do. Of course this can't be true, but logic was never my strong point.
10. I worry that I'll pass on my problems with my weight to my kids. I really really pray that my children have Stephen's body type and metabolism and not mine. And I really really hope I can be a good example for them and not a stumbling block.
This is a lot to carry on my shoulders every day. But fortunately for me, I don't have to carry it:
Matthew 11:28-30: "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."
And none of these things matter anyway:
Matthew 6:33-34: "But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."
Thursday, August 7, 2008
Things that Make Me Smile
I previously wrote about things that make me uncomfortable, but this is much more fun to think about!
1. Stephen. I love love love that man! Just seeing him smile makes me smile.
2. Flowers! Especially flowers that are for me, and daisies and lilies in particular.
3. Bailey. Even though she was Stephen's dog first, she's my baby too. She's quirky and has her flaws, but there's no other dog like her. I love how excited she is to see us when we come home, even if we were only gone for a few minutes.
4. Girl talk. I'm very much a one-on-one kind of person, so when I can get together with just one or two of my dear friends, I am thrilled. I love being in their company, and I love knowing I can be myself without fearing rejection.
5. School supplies. I know it's silly, but I don't care; school supplies make me absolutely giddy. I love looking at them, love buying them, love using them. Post-its and colored gel pens=perfection.
6. Target. I'm not sure if this is sillier than school supplies or not, but I love walking around Target. I recall many an hour spent just roaming the aisles, imagining what I would do with this item or that item, and I must always look at everything in the One Spot when visiting. Even if it's junk most of the time, treasure can be found, like The Office-themed post-its and notepad I found once, or the Napoleon Dynamite pens. You just never know what a trip to Target holds.
7. Books and bookshelves. Seeing a bookshelf filled with books is such a lovely sight. Oh, and the smell of new books is absolutely aroma for the soul.
8. Babies and small children. While I don't always love being around hordes of small ones, I do love watching them interact with people. There are few things as precious as a smile or laugh from a young soul.
9. Singing. I have loved singing ever since I was little, and I hope I can always sing in some capacity. I just recently joined the choir at church after putting it off for months because of nerves, and I'm so glad I joined. Hearing voices swell around me, joining in harmony, soothes and comforts me, and worship through song is very special to me.
10. Gilmore Girls. (Okay, you knew I was going there, right? If you've read my blog for a while, you did.) I can't talk about things that make me smile without mentioning this beloved show (which had a dismally subpar final season, I'm afraid). No show has captured my heart like that one, and I doubt another one ever will, although The Office might come close. I know the episodes backwards and forwards, and I don't think I'll ever tire of watching my favorites. If only there were still "fresh" episodes...
I think this list is a pretty good start. Perhaps I shall add to it weekly. What makes you smile?
1. Stephen. I love love love that man! Just seeing him smile makes me smile.
2. Flowers! Especially flowers that are for me, and daisies and lilies in particular.
3. Bailey. Even though she was Stephen's dog first, she's my baby too. She's quirky and has her flaws, but there's no other dog like her. I love how excited she is to see us when we come home, even if we were only gone for a few minutes.
4. Girl talk. I'm very much a one-on-one kind of person, so when I can get together with just one or two of my dear friends, I am thrilled. I love being in their company, and I love knowing I can be myself without fearing rejection.
5. School supplies. I know it's silly, but I don't care; school supplies make me absolutely giddy. I love looking at them, love buying them, love using them. Post-its and colored gel pens=perfection.
6. Target. I'm not sure if this is sillier than school supplies or not, but I love walking around Target. I recall many an hour spent just roaming the aisles, imagining what I would do with this item or that item, and I must always look at everything in the One Spot when visiting. Even if it's junk most of the time, treasure can be found, like The Office-themed post-its and notepad I found once, or the Napoleon Dynamite pens. You just never know what a trip to Target holds.
7. Books and bookshelves. Seeing a bookshelf filled with books is such a lovely sight. Oh, and the smell of new books is absolutely aroma for the soul.
8. Babies and small children. While I don't always love being around hordes of small ones, I do love watching them interact with people. There are few things as precious as a smile or laugh from a young soul.
9. Singing. I have loved singing ever since I was little, and I hope I can always sing in some capacity. I just recently joined the choir at church after putting it off for months because of nerves, and I'm so glad I joined. Hearing voices swell around me, joining in harmony, soothes and comforts me, and worship through song is very special to me.
10. Gilmore Girls. (Okay, you knew I was going there, right? If you've read my blog for a while, you did.) I can't talk about things that make me smile without mentioning this beloved show (which had a dismally subpar final season, I'm afraid). No show has captured my heart like that one, and I doubt another one ever will, although The Office might come close. I know the episodes backwards and forwards, and I don't think I'll ever tire of watching my favorites. If only there were still "fresh" episodes...
I think this list is a pretty good start. Perhaps I shall add to it weekly. What makes you smile?
Tuesday, August 5, 2008
Home Sweet Home
I'm almost afraid to type this because as soon as I do, something will turn up, but we are DONE unpacking! I think that's pretty amazing, if I do say so myself (which I have, a couple of times). I would like to do some minor rearranging in some of the closets, but everything has a place, and that is SUCH a good feeling!
Now, for some pictures. Let me just say that our bedrooms are SMALL, but the living room more than makes up for it. Our other living room was the size of a postage stamp, and we could barely fit all of our furniture in it, but not anymore. Since that's where we spend most of our time, we're happy with it.
The living room:
The bookshelf my fabulous husband assembled:
The guest bedroom:
And guest bathroom:
Our bedroom (crammed rather tightly, but it works):
The kitchen (part of it anyway):
The dining room:
I think that's pretty much it. The bathrooms have awesome counter space, and the apartment has SEVEN closets total. How amazing is that??? All in all, I think we've got it pretty good. :)
Now, for some pictures. Let me just say that our bedrooms are SMALL, but the living room more than makes up for it. Our other living room was the size of a postage stamp, and we could barely fit all of our furniture in it, but not anymore. Since that's where we spend most of our time, we're happy with it.
The living room:
The bookshelf my fabulous husband assembled:
The guest bedroom:
And guest bathroom:
Our bedroom (crammed rather tightly, but it works):
The kitchen (part of it anyway):
The dining room:
I think that's pretty much it. The bathrooms have awesome counter space, and the apartment has SEVEN closets total. How amazing is that??? All in all, I think we've got it pretty good. :)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)