I'm joining in this week's Five Minute Friday, and you can too! Just write for 5 minutes with no editing on the word of the week. This week's word is "again."
I look down into the bag of Chex Mix, my fingers covered in fine orange powder, and I sigh in frustration. Surely I hadn’t eaten that much. Surely the bag was emptier than I remembered it being before I started mindlessly eating. Surely I had only had one handful. Or two. Or three.
How do I keep finding myself in this same place? Over and over, again and again. Maybe it’s a bad day that triggers it, or maybe I’m lonely or sad or just bored. Whatever the reason, more often than not I turn to food for comfort instead of turning to Jesus.
I think about how I am so heartbroken when Charlotte turns her head away from me when she is grumpy or upset, how I long for her to reach out to me in her frustration or sadness. Doesn’t she know how much I love her, how much I want to sweep her up into my arms and hold her tightly, her sweet head nestled into the crook of my neck?
I think of the small way in which I love her compared to the vastness of the love of God, and I wonder how much God’s heart breaks when I choose something as ridiculous as Chex Mix to comfort me when I have the Healer of the Universe waiting, His arms open wide, ready to embrace me?
Again and again I fail, and again and again He forgives, removing my sin as far as the east is from the west.