I have had variations of this post written in my head for the better part of a week, and it's time for me to just let it out.
I have decided to abstain from sweets until January 1. Yes, I realize that means I am not going to eat sweets during the holiday season, when there is more opportunity to eat delicious treats than at any other time during the year (except for maybe Valentine's Day). Have I gone insane?
No. I'm just desperate. Desperate to lose this weight that has been hanging around for far too long. Desperate to see the power that food has over me diminish. Desperate to stop obsessing over food. Desperate to enjoy the holidays without feeling guilt every time I eat too much pie or have too many cookies. So the easiest solution was to remove the biggest stumbling block to my weight loss: sweets.
I have always had a sweet tooth, and I indulged it far too often while I was pregnant and then did a rather poor job of controlling it after Charlotte arrived. I have wanted to restrict my sweets intake for a while but then felt like there was no way I could do and that I'd be crazy if I tried. So I continued eating them and then wondered why I wasn't losing weight any faster.
The truth is, I can live without sweets. I can even be happy without sweets. But I cannot live a life that is not pleasing to the Lord, and my gluttony and my all-consuming love of food, specifically sweets, does not please Him.I cannot have joy without Him. So the sweets must go.
I don't know yet if I will stick with this plan after January 1 comes, but I've given myself that date as a date to reevaluate my progress and see what I need to do. I don't plan on eliminating desserts for the rest of my life, but it has become necessary for such a time as this.
And it's hard. The first three days, I thought about desserts constantly and was tempted many times to just throw in the towel. But when I feel weak, I repeat to myself, "I am made for more than this" and then quote Psalm 16:11, part of which says, "In Your presence there is fullness of joy." In Christ there is fullness of joy. I will not find fullness of joy in a bowl of ice cream or inside a Reese's Peanut Butter Cup, so it's time I stop looking for it in those places.